


I Love You

by AngelllXDevilll



Category: Wanna One (Band)
Genre: Eventual Smut, Fluff and Angst, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-16
Updated: 2018-03-17
Packaged: 2019-03-05 15:33:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 20
Words: 29,096
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13390836
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AngelllXDevilll/pseuds/AngelllXDevilll
Summary: “I love you”Jihoon couldn’t believe his ears. His eyes widened animatedly, surprised by the sudden revelation. Exchanging I love you(s) is a normal thing between members, but a direct one-on-one I love you when there’s no one else but the two of them make a whole lot different. Moreover, it came from someone Jihoon has been crushing on for God knows how long.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> NielWink is really a depressing ship  
> But I couldn't help but loving their interaction >,<
> 
> I posted some fics on Asianfanfic (Please do check if you have time <3)and my friend suggest me to try posting it here, so here I am  
> So this is my first fanfic here and I really love NielWink  
> I won't be posting the fanfics on Asianfanfic here ;)
> 
> This will be quite a long chaptered story  
> Please bear with me as I am still an amateur
> 
> N.B. Please look at the end for more notes

(Flashback 2 hours ago)

“Hey, hey, hey, let’s go out” Jaehwan declared rather loudly one morning where all Wanna One members are in the dorm, enjoying their day-off.

The maknae lines who had been woken up long ago and sprawling at the living room doing anything just whined in response, “Why???”

“Just stay here today, we’re too lazy to go out” Jinyoung said

Jaehwan clucked at his tongue, “Get up you lazy ass, we haven’t had our proper hang out since debut, let’s enjoy the day rather than getting locked here, we never know when can  
we have free time again”

Minhyun had long gone since the morning to hang out with his Nuest members and Sungwoon with Hotshot.

Jaehwan didn’t want to hear any more excuses, so he ushered the members to get ready. 

“What about Niel hyung and Jihoon hyung?” Daehwi asked when all of them are ready to go at the door step. Daniel and Jihoon hadn’t woken up yet as they stayed up late last night finishing their games.

Jaehwan thinks hard for an answer. Truth is, Jaehwan did this as a form of doing a favour for Daniel, getting him and Jihoon alone in the dorm. “Umm, that’s, they, uuhh, just-“ Jaehwan mumbled incoherently.

“Just let them be, their schedules are more packed compared to ours, so I think they really need to sleep longer, they can do dishes and laundry after they woke up too, today is their turn anyway” Seongwoo came and save Jaehwan.

Jaehwan glanced and made eye contact with Seongwoo and smile knowingly. Seongwoo just nodded in response and precede going out.

 

========================================================================================== 

 

Not long after Wanna One members left, Jihoon woke up. He stretched a little to loosen his muscle from long sleep. He glanced at the clock, eyes widened that it’s 1pm already. He wondered why the dorm is incredibly silent at this time. 

He walked out of the room to the living room to find it empty. 

He peeked into the kitchen and laundry room, empty. 

He walked to Sungwoon, Daehwi, and Jinyoung’s room, empty.

He opened Daniel, Seongwoo, and Jisung’s room, Daniel was there, still sleeping peacefully.

Jihoon heaved a sigh; at least he is not alone. He walked in further to Daniel’s sleeping form and admires Daniel’s angelic face. Jihoon didn’t know how long he has been staring but Daniel suddenly stirred awake. He opened his eyes before Jihoon can run or avert his gaze, looking so obvious that he had been starring at Daniel all these while.

“Jihoonie?” Daniel’s voice deep and husky from just waking up, but it sounded so sexy in Jihoon’s ears. Daniel rubbed his eyes looking so cute contrary to his voice. “Good morning”

“G..Good Morning” Jihoon stuttered. “The others are out, I think. I want to cook something to eat and was just going to wake you up to ask what you want to eat. I was just here not long ago, not even 5 minutes I swear, and then you woke up. So, umm.. Yeah, that’s-” Jihoon rambled, not making sense, even to himself, so he opted to shut his own mouth.

Daniel chuckled at that. He stood up, ruffled Jihoon’s hair and walked out of the room, “Since when can you cook? You’ll give Minhyun hyung a heart attack again by destroying his kitchen like the last time you tried to cook ramen” Daniel turned to look at Jihoon again, “Since I’m so lazy to cook myself and I’m not the finest cook here, what do you think if we just ordered a take out?” Daniel smiled teasingly.

Jihoon knows by now Daniel had seen through his lies. Despite being so embarrassed that his face is beet red at the moment, Jihoon tried to look cool and unaffected, “Whatever” and stormed pass Daniel to hide in his room.

 

========================================================================================== 

 

Daniel and Jihoon had finished their brunch and are doing the dishes together, more like Daniel is doing all the dishes while Jihoon stood beside him and complained.

“I can’t believe they left us just like that, not even a simple notice was given, heck, even my messages and calls are ignored.” Jihoon sulked 

Daniel smiled to himself, thinking he’ll treat Jaehwan to something later. “Come on, think from a brighter side, we have the dorm all to ourselves, we can play games without having to restrain our voice, we can rest in this off day without the noise of the members, or we can do other things only the two of us” Daniel said while emphasizing the two of us

Jihoon blushed again. “A..Alright. What do you want to do?”

Daniel finished his dishes, wiped his hands, and turned to Jihoon. “So we start with what I want to do?” Daniel asked

“Since I don’t have any plan, yeah, you can take the lead” Jihoon tried to sound nonchalant, while anticipating Daniel’s answer.

“Hmm..” Daniel pretends to think. “Let’s play game” Daniel answered cheerfully and dragged Jihoon to the living room and start the game

Jihoon is disappointed. He is sure Daniel knows how he feels about the older and vice versa. Daniel had been dropping clues here and there that he also liked Jihoon that way, but  
Daniel never says anything nor did anything other than friendly and brotherly hug. Every time Jihoon tried to approach Daniel further, Daniel will be the first to pull back and laugh it off by patting Jihoon.

To say that Jihoon is desperate is understatement. Jihoon doesn’t do serious relationship, he is traumatized by his pass relationship and no one knows about that but Woojin. Jihoon didn’t have any intention to tell people about his trauma as he sees that as weakness, Jihoon didn’t want people to know about his weakness. Woojin knew about it out of pure coincident, he saw Jihoon’s breakdown and under that circumstances, Jihoon had no choice but to tell Woojin the whole thing. 

Although Jihoon doesn’t do serious relationship, he likes skinship. He likes going around flirting with people who gained his interest and making as if they are dating. The skinship is restricted to just hugging and holding hands up to kissing at most. However, there’s rumour going around that he also did fooling around. Of course that’s not true. He didn’t know where that rumour comes from. But Jihoon couldn’t care less, he will keep doing that until the other confess and Jihoon will reject him, saying that person had read Jihoon’s action wrong. And the cycle will keep repeating itself. But Daniel is different. Unlike his past flirting partners, yes that’s how Jihoon defined them; he has some kind of feeling towards Daniel. But still, if he didn’t want to be hurt again, he shouldn’t do serious. That’s Jihoon’s principle.

Despite that, Jihoon won’t be the first to admit that he had other than brotherly feeling for the older. It is because by admitting that out loud against his pride, Jihoon hates losing. He knows he is being petty, but that’s just how he protected himself all these while.

Daniel knows Jihoon doesn’t do serious relationship. He didn’t know the reason why the younger being so defensive about relationship but he is determined to change that. Daniel had been dropping hints and he is now 100% sure Jihoon knows how he feels about the younger, but Jihoon’s pride is too high. It is easy for Daniel to go and confess to Jihoon first as Daniel didn’t see as confessing first is something to lose. Also, Daniel didn’t mind losing everything for Jihoon, Jihoon is that precious for Daniel.

But Daniel didn’t want to be another play mate for Jihoon, just flirting around without definite status between them. It’s not status that Daniel seeks for, but mutual feelings and understanding between them. If Daniel is about to do relationship, he’ll do a serious one and pursue until the end without any regrets. Once Daniel is serious, he is ready to give up on everything and anything for that someone. So, he wants to make sure that Jihoon deserves to be the receiving end before entrusting his heart for Jihoon to take care.

 

========================================================================================== 

 

Jihoon is so engrossed in the game they played, forgetting all his disappointment already. Some time throughout the game, Daniel had stop playing and looks at Jihoon’s focus face. What he meant by focus is eyebrows furrowed, eyes almost not blinking, nose scrunched up a little, pouty lips, and occasional lips biting. Jihoon is so cute that Daniel wouldn’t mind spending the rest of the day staring at Jihoon.

“Hyung, Niel Hyung. Yah, Daniel!” Jihoon shouts, bringing Daniel back to reality.

Daniel looked back at Jihoon to see what seems like fuming Jihoon staring back at him. “What?” he asked dumbly

Jihoon shook his head unbelievably, “Why did you stop playing? See! Its game over” Jihoon pouts, “We could have won already just now”

Daniel keeps staring at Jihoon, admiring all his facial features, not saying anything, not bothered by his annoyed dongsaeng.

“What are you thinking?” Jihoon asked

“You”, come Daniel’s reply

Jihoon blushed again. “W..What d..do y..you mean?” Jihoon flustered, looking anywhere but Daniel. 

Daniel smiled contently at Jihoon’s flustered face.

Getting no response, Jihoon dares to look up, which he wish he didn’t. When his eyes met Daniel’s, he feels captivated. As if under the spell, he couldn’t pry his eyes away from Daniel.

“I love you” Daniel said before he could stop himself.

Jihoon couldn’t believe his ears. His eyes widened animatedly, surprised by the sudden revelation. Exchanging I love you(s) is a normal thing between members, but a direct one-on-one I love you when there’s no one else but the two of them make a whole lot different. Moreover, it came from someone Jihoon has been crushing on for God knows how long.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Daniel soon leans in, erasing the gap between them little by little. As if on instinct, Jihoon closed his eyes and be prepared for what’s going to happen next. When their faces are inches apart, Jihoon felt warm breath ghosting over his face and he expected to feel another pair of lips on his, but suddenly he felt cold air surrounding him. He abruptly opened his eyes only to see Daniel had stood up with a smile on his face, looking at him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I need more NielWink ~~~  
> Updated!!!
> 
> I hope you guys enjoy my story  
> Enjoy ^_^

“I love you” Daniel said, eyes stared deep down Jihoon’s brown orbs. His words are full of confidence, there’s no hint of uncertainty at all.

“I-I..” Jihoon couldn’t find anything to say

Daniel soon leans in, erasing the gap between them little by little. As if on instinct, Jihoon closed his eyes and be prepared for what’s going to happen next. When their faces are inches apart, Jihoon felt warm breath ghosting over his face and he expected to feel another pair of lips on his, but suddenly he felt cold air surrounding him. He abruptly opened his eyes only to see Daniel had stood up with a smile on his face, looking at him.

“W..What?” was all Jihoon could muster.

Daniel crossed his arm and lean his weight on one side of his leg, looking so relax, contrary to Jihoon’s rapid heartbeat. “I just confessed to you”

Jihoon composed himself, “I’m aware of that, I’m not stupid.” He takes a deep breath, “What I mean is why didn’t you kiss me?”

Daniel raised his eyebrow, “Why should I?”

“You just confess” Jihoon is getting impatient. He had attempted to kiss Daniel before but never success, not even close. Daniel has always been able to dodge or push him away in the most natural way. “Aren’t you supposed to kiss me after that? I even closed my eyes, meaning that I’ll accept your kiss.”

A smirk comes across Daniel’s face. He leans in again, resting both his hands on the head rest of the sofa, trapping Jihoon’s small form. “I said I love you” he looked deeply into Jihoon’s eyes, “I’m not saying I’ll kiss you” his smirks widened seeing Jihoon’s flustered face, “Aren’t you making yourself too easy to read? Are you that desperate to kiss me already?” Daniel paused and leaned back, “I only do serious relationship Jihoon-ah” Daniel’s speech turn serious, “I don’t know what happened that you became like this but I’ve made myself clear that I want to try it with you, having serious relationship I mean. So, if you like that idea, come to me and tell me. But first you need to promise to stop flirting around and open up with me so I can help you. By then, we’ll kiss.” Daniel ends his speech with a wink and turn to leave Jihoon alone.

Jihoon couldn’t quite process what happened. When he came back to his sense, Daniel had left the room. Daniel is right; he is so desperate to kiss the older. But he didn’t want to do serious relationship, he is not ready. He knows Daniel always stay true to his words, so unless he agrees to Daniel’s serious relationship, he’ll never get a kiss from the older.

Jihoon huffed in annoyance, he likes Daniel but he didn’t want to repeat the same mistakes again. By having serious relationship means that he is going to open old wound, willingly give his once shattered heart, the one that he struggled to fix all this time to another, with the risk that that people can easily break his heart again. Jihoon didn’t know whether he still can fix his heart if it happens for the second time. His once shattered heart has left a big scar in him that hasn’t healed yet. 

He saw Daniel sitting on the chair in the kitchen, enjoying his drink. As if on cue, Daniel looked up and meets Jihoon’s eyes. He smiles, “Want some Jihoonie?”

Jihoon immediately look away and stomped his way to his room, not forgetting to close the door with a loud bang.

<><><><><><><>

After Jihoon closed (slammed) the door close, Daniel’s smile faltered. He sighs, burying his face in his hands and his hands resting on the table. “That was close”, he sighs.

The confession wasn’t planned. He asked Jaehwan to bring all members out as he wants to have some time alone with Jihoon. He is trying to make Jihoon get used to his presence and show Jihoon that Daniel sincerely loves him. But seeing Jihoon’s reaction, he randomly blurted out “I love you”. What kind of confession was that? He thought, so lame. 

What’s worse is that he even leaned in and almost kissed Jihoon. Fortunately, he can stop himself before it was too late and regret his action. He is so close to getting himself to be Jihoon’s another play mate. He is so tempted to just give in to Jihoon’s so-called principle as long as he can be close to Jihoon. But that wasn’t what Daniel wants.

Daniel is always jealous of the members that are so close to Jihoon, especially Woojin. Daniel didn’t know what Woojin is to Jihoon but Daniel knows it’s not just best friend but they aren’t boyfriend either. Why? It’s because they flirt almost every second they meet and Daniel once walk in to them kissing in the changing room right before their concert. Not to mention on stage where Woojin openly initiate skinship that is too much for Daniel’s liking, like trying to kiss Jihoon on stage? On camera? That’s out of control already.

Daniel did this to stop Jihoon from tainting himself more. Daniel knows Jihoon’s unwillingness to have serious relationship have something to do with his past relationship, though he didn’t know the detailed story. Daniel is determined to show Jihoon that he is not that person, he won’t leave Jihoon, he’ll protect Jihoon, and surely he won’t hurt Jihoon.

Daniel is out of idea how to convince Jihoon, he is just too stubborn. Now all Daniel can do is waiting for Jihoon to open up to him. He is sure that Jihoon actually harbour some feelings for him and he hold onto that small hope, wishing that it was enough for Jihoon to give him a chance, give them a chance.

He sighs again and stands up. He walked towards Jihoon’s shared room and slowly opened the door. There, he sees Jihoon is sleeping so peacefully on his bunk bed. He walked closer to see Jihoon’s face. His heart clenched as there’s tear-stained evidence in Jihoon’s face, indicating he cried himself to sleep.

Daniel knows he is being mean to Jihoon now, but he also needs to protect his own heart right? He swaps Jihoon’s bangs away and kissed Jihoon on the forehead, “Sleep well Jihoonie, I love you” and leave the room.

What Daniel didn’t know is that Jihoon is not sleeping at all. After Daniel closed the door behind him, Jihoon opened his eyes and let another tears escaped his eyes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, Daniel confessed but decided not to pursue?  
> Something happened with Jihoon's past?
> 
> Next chapter will mainly a flashback on Jihoon's past relationship >,<
> 
>  
> 
> N.B. Please give love to this story by leaving comments and upvotes <3


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He couldn’t go to find Jaehyun as he didn’t know where he should go. He didn’t know what college Jaehyun enters, where he did his part time job, where his family’s house, he didn’t know any of his friends’ number, nothing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Updated!!!  
> I decided to update today to commemorate Kang actor's debut <3  
> Besides that, so many new updates about W1, starting from moving to new dorm until we have relevant NielWink moment in SMA tonight ~~~
> 
> Anyway, I hope my writing reached your expectation  
> Enjoy~

Ever since that day, contrary to what Daniel wished for, Jihoon drifted further from him. If anything, the amount of skinships between Jihoon and Woojin are getting more and more daring. Before they only kiss if there was no one on sight but now, Jihoon will lean in to Woojin and kiss him more openly in the dorm, with or without the members. All of them know that Jihoon and Woojin’s relationship has no string attached, like friends with benefit, or that’s how Jihoon picture it.

Woojin on the other hand had been crushing on Jihoon for so long. They become best friend quickly as their jokes and personality clicks in. They started off this friend with benefit relationship since Woojin knows about Jihoon’s darkest secret. 

<><><><><><><>

(2015)

“Jihoon,I love you” Jaehyun, Jihoon’s long time crush, confessed to him.

They are currently cuddling at Jihoon’s apartment sofa, Jihoon had been insisting on living alone ever since he entered high school, Jihoon resting on Jaehyun. They have been doing this for a month, all over each other without making it official.

“Mm, I love you too” Jihoon said sleepily, already drifting off to sleep, feeling so comfortable.  
Jaehyun suddenly leaned away, causing Jihoon almost fell but manage to steady Jihoon up before it happened. “Hey” he shook Jihoon awake, “let’s make it official. Do you want to be my boyfriend?”

Hearing that, all sleepiness in Jihoon’s system had been sucked out. His eyes as wide as saucer, mouth agape uncharacteristically, and mind suddenly refused to function. Jaehyun is voted as number 1 in his college for man you want to date the most and is popular among the colleges for having zero interest in relationship. He fool around, change partners, and do whatever he likes with no string attached. That was why Jihoon had never confessed nor initiated to be boyfriends. Jihoon is content with their current relationship, as long as he can be closed with his crush, Jihoon is that whipped for Jaehyun.

That’s why; this is a tremendous progress that Jihoon had never expected to happen. It’s like dream comes true. Jihoon slap his face twice hardly, making sure he wasn’t dreaming. When he was about to slap himself once more, a hand held his reddening cheeks, so Jihoon slapped the hand on his face instead of his own cheeks. 

“Hey, babe, stop hitting yourself” Jaehyun says while stroking his cheeks lovingly. “So? What do you say?”

Jihoon gathers his sense, “But didn’t you say you don’t want to be attached? I’m fine with how things are. Really.” Jihoon mentally slaps himself for throwing away the golden chance of being the only one for the almighty Jaehyun.

Jaehyun smiles at him, “What if I say that I’m being serious with you now? I can’t even picture myself without you in the future anymore. I love you so much to take you for granted. Please?”

Jihoon feels himself tear up at that. This is what he had been waiting for all this time. Just say yes already Park Jihoon, he said to himself. But words had betrayed him. He couldn’t bring anything out to say.

“I take that as a yes?” He simply leans in and pecks Jihoon’s lips. 

Jaehyun pulled away again, “Hey, can I move in with you?”

Without thinking much, Jihoon nods softly, instantly agrees. Jihoon’s apartment is more well-off compared to Jaehyun’s, so it’s just natural to decide this is a better place for them. Jaehyun then lean in and kiss Jihoon again, deeper, sealing their vow.

Only happiness waiting in the future, Jihoon thought

<><><><><><><>

Jihoon just realized how that sounded so wrong now. There’s no such thing as happily ever after.

3 months into relationship, Jihoon realized there’s a slight but constant change of his boyfriend, but he tried to ignore it. Jaehyun had been going home late, putting assignment as excuses which Jihoon knows it was a lie. There’s unfamiliar smell lingering on Jaehyun whenever Jihoon hugs him when just get back home. He snapped on Jihoon when that one time Jihoon pick up Jaehyun’s ringing phone when said person was in the shower. Jihoon even wasn’t allowed to check on his own boyfriend’s phone anymore. On weekend, instead of spending time with Jihoon, Jaehyun will go and hang out with his friends. And Jihoon is left in an empty apartment again. However, Jihoon was still in high school and didn’t know what he wants to do in life. He depended a lot on his boyfriend. So, he couldn’t do anything and try his best to be the understanding boyfriend and trust Jaehyun with everything he has.

Until one day, Jihoon woke up in the middle of the night only to find the space beside him empty. He worriedly tried to find Jaehyun and spotted him kissing an unfamiliar girl in the park near their apartment. Jihoon quickly runs back to the apartment and feign a sleep. Soon after, Jaehyun came back and sleep beside him, not knowing what Jihoon had witnessed, leaving Jihoon in his misery. The next morning, Jihoon woke up to find Jaehyun, once again had left for classes and again Jihoon was left alone in the apartment.

Despite that, Jihoon still pretend everything was fine. Jaehyun hyung must be stressed from his classes and part time job was what he kept chanting to himself like a spell. 

Everything is going to be back to normal. Jaehyun promised him forever. Jaehyun loves him. Right?

<><><><><><><>

It’s another morning. Jihoon woke up, as usual Jaehyun is nowhere to be seen. But something was off, Jihoon thought. He walked to the bathroom to do his morning routines but he was alarmed when he saw no trace of Jaehyun’s belonging there. Jihoon hurriedly runs to their closet but it only confirms his suspicion. All Jaehyun’s clothes and other belongings, as well as his bags and suitcases are nowhere in sight.

Jihoon’s trembled hands reached out for his phone and dial Jaehyun’s number only to be directed to voicemail. He tried hard to hold his tears in but fail pathetically. He couldn’t go to find Jaehyun as he didn’t know where he should go. He didn’t know what college Jaehyun enters, where he did his part time job, where his family’s house, he didn’t know any of his friends’ number, nothing.

Jihoon broke down and cried hard. Jaehyun had left him without saying anything. Jihoon is left in this apartment alone. He cried himself to sleep, hoping this was just another nightmare and when he woke up tomorrow, everything will be back to normal. 

This wasn’t a nightmare. When Jihoon woke up another morning, his first instinct is to reach out his bedside for Jaehyun, only to find it empty. Jihoon will walk around the apartment, hoping Jihoon will be somewhere there, only to be disappointed at the end and cry himself to sleep again. This keeps repeating for almost a week, he had skipped school for too long that his one and only friend came visit him out of worry.

He drags Jihoon out of the apartment to get some fresh air and that’s where Jihoon was scouted to be a trainee. Jihoon was about to reject at first but his friend beat him to it and agree to that offer.

That wasn’t a bad idea at all. With intensive training every day, Jihoon is able to take his mind off Jaehyun and slowly patch his heart up again. But that doesn’t mean he is healing, the scar is still there. 

Jihoon was young. It was his first love and everything hurt more than it’s supposed to be. It left a big scar in his heart.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, what do you think?  
> Leave comments kay?
> 
> Anyway, I'll try my best to update next chapter sooner.  
> Please expect them >,<
> 
> N.B. Don't forget to stream Davichi's MV (Days without you) on CJENM official channel on youtube and Naver. It was such a good song, kudos to davichi <3


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> But what can he do? Nothing. Absolutely nothing. Other than waiting, there’s nothing Daniel can do. Waiting for Jihoon to come to him. Waiting for Jihoon to open up to him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I decided to update more regularly  
> Like 2 or 3 times a week (?)

Since then, Jihoon developed trauma of being left alone, he liked to touch to ensure himself that there’s somebody there and he is not alone. That’s where his addiction to skinship starts. But that wasn’t the reason why he despises relationship. Why he didn’t do serious relationship is what anybody has yet to know, not even Woojin. Trust. Jihoon couldn’t believe in people’s words anymore. They are empty promises, there’s no forever in this world, Jihoon convinced himself.

Since Jihoon told Woojin his secret and said that it was the reason why he always crafts for skinship, but he was stressed out as now he is an idol and doing improper skinship with just anybody is definitely not a good idea, Woojin offered himself to be Jihoon’s play mate. Of course Jihoon refused at first since Woojin is his precious best friend but Woojin kept persuading him that everything will be fine. Although reluctantly, Jihoon agreed, ignoring all the back voices screaming he is going to regret this, that he is using his best friend for his own comfort. Woojin benefits from this relationship either, he screamed back to his inner thoughts. Jihoon perfectly knows how Woojin feels for him.

“Hey Woojin” Jihoon called over one day. They are in the van, going back to the dorm after their deadly schedules. Jihoon and Woojin sat together at the second from the last row of the van, with Woojin sat beside the window, looking out to the road.

“What do you wa-” Woojin asked while turning to look at Jihoon.

Woojin’s words were cut by Jihoon’s lips pressed tightly into his. Without a second to waste, Woojin immediately return the kiss while pushing Jihoon to rest against the car seat. Daniel who sits behind them witnessed everything but can’t do anything but sigh at what he sees. He chose to close his eyes and sleep instead.

However, Jihoon didn’t do it with just anyone anymore, just Woojin, although there’s still no string attach, just friends with benefit, no more no less.

And there’s one more secret that Jihoon kept, even from Woojin, that Jihoon only kiss or initiate any form of skinship when he knows that Daniel is watching them. Sure, if Woojin initiates, he’ll still accept them but he’ll never initiates anymore skinship with Woojin if Daniel’s attention is not on them. In other word, all Jihoon’s action now is to provoke Daniel, so that Daniel can lose control and just kiss him already.

But after more than a month of keeping this act up, Jihoon had started to grow tired. Daniel didn’t look affected at all. He just functions as normally and as bubbly as how he usually is, still smiling and giggling here and there, helping out members when they are in need, including himself. But if Jihoon started to approach Daniel, Daniel will back out and smile at him, while whispering, “Don’t” so soft that Jihoon almost missed it every time.

That just getting Jihoon more frustrated. Without he realized it, Jihoon’s feeling had grown so much under that 1 month span of time that it scared him so much. But still, Jihoon wouldn’t admit that. Admitting means losing, and losing means he had given his poor heart to somebody again. And it will be up to that somebody to take care and heal Jihoon or break and crush it to pieces. The chance is 50:50, and Jihoon wouldn’t risk that.

Deep down inside, Jihoon knows that Daniel won’t do that, Daniel won’t break his heart like how that person did to him, but the other side of him convinced him that one day Daniel will just get bored of him and leave Jihoon to deal with another broken heart. And Jihoon believes the latter.

<><><><><><><>

To say that Daniel is unaffected is a whole big lie. Although he appears unaffected, Daniel sure he is going crazy soon. Who in the right mind wouldn’t get jealous if someone you love wholeheartedly being all lovey-dovey in front of you, kissing and flirting. But Daniel had sworn to himself that he will never get his resolution to falter.

He is lucky to have Jaehwan and Seongwoo as his best friends who will always be there to cheer him up when he feels down. But that’s not enough, Daniel still couldn’t get off the scene where Jihoon and Woojin kissed out of his mind. If that’s what they did in front of them, what more they do when there’s no one around, Daniel thought. Daniel had heard many rumours that Jihoon did fool around with his previous play mate, but weirdly, that rumour didn’t spread within their fans. Just with the imagination had made Daniel’s blood boil. 

But what can he do? Nothing. Absolutely nothing. Other than waiting, there’s nothing Daniel can do. Waiting for Jihoon to come to him. Waiting for Jihoon to open up to him.

By the passing day, Daniel had lost his energy (physically and mentally) bits by bits. He started to think that Jihoon didn’t love him enough to approach him. Daniel even considered approaching Jihoon first and worst to offer himself as Jihoon’s play mate to replace Woojin. But that idea was soon replenished by Jaehwan smacking him, waking him up to sense. 

Yes, Daniel is that desperate for Jihoon’s love and he had absolutely no idea what he should do.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wuaaahhh  
> I love all Wanna One members equally (Okay, a little bit more to NielWink) so don't hate me on making their character like this  
> It was my pure imagination >,<
> 
> Tell me what you think :)


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Without thinking, he stormed inside, grab Woojin by the collar and with the strength that he didn’t know he possessed, punch him square in the face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Updated!!!  
> There'll be slight smut here   
> I've warned you :)  
> I don't know what possessed me but this is my first time trying to write smut (only slight tho)

Few days later, Daniel is just back to the supposed-to-be-empty dorm from his individual schedule. The members are all back to their home to meet up with family and friends and since he had schedules to attend; he is left at the dorm alone.

Daniel’s energy is drained to the core that the only thing on his mind at that time is sleep. He dragged his feet to his room and opens the door. What he sees next suck the living out of him. There he sees Jihoon sitting on his bed, topless with Woojin hugging and stroking his back. That sight drew all rationality out his system.

Daniel had been thinking they might have done this but seeing it himself made Daniel mad. Without thinking, he stormed inside, grab Woojin by the collar and with the strength that he didn’t know he possessed, punch him square in the face. He then grabbed a shock-looking Jihoon and drags him out of the room to another room and locks it, leaving a bloody Woojin lie on the floor. Daniel himself is extremely strong already but this time it feels like his strength just doubled.

<><><><><><><>

(In Jihoon’s shared room)

After locking the door, Daniel slams Jihoon hard on the wall and pinned him so that Jihoon couldn’t move. 

“Wha-“ Jihoon was about to ask. But Daniel had shut him up by kissing, more like slamming his lips into Jihoon’s. The kiss was far from gentle; Daniel eats Jihoon all up, savouring every inch of Jihoon’s lips. Daniel’s right hand locks both Jihoon’s hands above his head and his left hand trailed down Jihoon’s naked upper body, sending shivers down Jihoon’s spine.

Daniel’s hand feels so hot against Jihoon’s bare skin that it burns and a moan escape Jihoon’s lips. Daniel separates them for a while, looking at panting mess Jihoon.

“Do you like it that much?” he asked, “Are you that desperate to be touched, that horny, that you let him touch you like this?” Daniel’s tone dangerously low, “Are you really fine with anyone touching you?”

Jihoon opened his mouth to counter, but nothing comes out. He is too scared of this Daniel. Instead, he moaned again when he felt Daniel tugged on his nipples. Seeing Jihoon’s reaction, Daniel smirked, “What a slut” and smashed his lips hard against Jihoon’s. Jihoon yelps and Daniel took the opportunity to slip his tongue inside and roam every inch of Jihoon’s cavern. His fingers that had been playing on his nipples slide downwards until it reached the belt of his pants. 

Jihoon had been waiting for so long for Daniel to kiss him. But this is not what he wants. This side of Daniel is really scary. Jihoon is scared but for some reason, he didn’t want to push Daniel away, he didn’t want Daniel to stop. The more Daniel ravished his mouth, torturing his now swollen nipples, Jihoon is getting turn on. 

But when Daniel’s hands reach his pants and was about to tug them down, all alarms in his head ring. Sure he wants to do this with Daniel, but not like this, not when Daniel is out of his mind. A tear escape his eyes and he weakly tried to push Daniel’s away. It doesn’t help that Daniel is much stronger than him and all the sensation Daniel gave him now making him weaker than he supposed to be.

While kissing, Daniel felt something is wrong, as if on cue, he opened his eyes to see a tear rolled down Jihoon’s beautiful eyes. And what looking at him wasn’t the shining galactic eyes that he loves from Jihoon’s eyes, but fear. 

Seeing that, Daniel immediately pries himself away from Jihoon resulting Jihoon to fall on the floor as his legs gave up on him. 

After he fell on the floor, Jihoon’s immediate reaction is to cover himself. He is trembling hard. He couldn’t stop himself from being scared. This is his first time doing something more than kissing. It’s because Daniel’s judgement for him. Daniel believed that rumour. It’s because Daniel thinks that he is fine with doing this with anybody. It’s because Daniel said that he is a slut.

Jihoon is trembling so hard that he started to cry. Suddenly he felt himself being pulled towards Daniel’s embrace. Daniel hugged him so softly, contrary to what he did to Jihoon earlier. Weirdly, Jihoon stopped trembling. Jihoon stopped crying. Although he felt so scared of Daniel just a few minutes ago, now Jihoon felt safe.

“I’m sorry” Daniel muttered against Jihoon’s neck.

“I’m really sorry. I didn’t know what had gotten into me. I’m sorry for what I said just now, how I wished I could take them back all. I’m sorry for what I did to you. I’m sorry for everything” Daniel‘s voice sounded so weak.

Jihoon hugged Daniel back, whispering, “It’s okay, I’m fine, It’s not your fault”

Daniel breaks the hug to Jihoon’s dismay. “No, it’s my fault. I don’t have the right to intervene anyway. Wait” Daniel took off the oversized sweater he was wearing, leaving him with an equally oversized T-shirt and put it on Jihoon to wear. Jihoon blushed at the action. Now he can smell Daniel all over him. Daniel pulls him up and placed him to sit on the bed. 

“Do you need anything? Want to drink something?” Daniel asked gently.

Jihoon shakes his head slowly, you being here is all I need, that’s what Jihoon wants to say, “No, you should look for Woojin. You punched him hard, I worried something might happened to him” he said instead.

Daniel widened his eyes, shit; he forgot that he punched Woojin out of jealousy just now. “I’ll be back” is all he said and stormed out of the room.

<><><><><><><>

He walked to his room and find no one was there. He walked to the kitchen to find Woojin sitting there, treating his own wounds. Daniel cringes at the sight. It is worst than he expected them to be. He wonders whether it’ll leave scar on Woojin.

Woojin saw Daniel, eyes meeting for a brief moment before he shifts his attention back to his wounds. Daniel only can stand dumbly.

After Woojin finished treating his own wounds, he keeps the first-aid box and was about to walk pass Daniel out of the kitchen. Daniel quickly stops him by holding his arm. 

“Wait” Daniel said, not sure what to ask, “How do you feel”

Woojin stopped in his tracks, “Horrible”

“I’m sorry” Daniel said looking down, “I don’t know what had gotten to me. You can hit me back if that’s going to make you feel better.”

Without a second thought, Woojin punched Daniel hard on his face and left the dorm. 

Daniel groaned, “This is what I deserved anyway” then take a cup of water and back to Jihoon.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tell me what you think  
> Should I write more smut?  
> Or Should I just stick on writing PG-13 :*:*:*
> 
> I predicted this to have 20 chapters (I think it'll be too dragged out to have more than 20)  
> It might change as this is what I hope to do  
> I'm currently writing the next chapter, maybe it'll be finished by tomorrow
> 
> Happy reading ~~~


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Let’s date hyung”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi!!!  
> I updated as promised >,<
> 
> I'll do marathon updates this weekend  
> Please anticipate more <3

Daniel entered the room slowly. He saw Jihoon curled up on the bed, hugging one of his plushie while wearing his oversized sweater (which is too big even for Daniel), looking extremely adorable. Daniel coos at the sight but refrain himself from showing it.

Daniel hands Jihoon the water and Jihoon gulps it down in one go. 

“Feeling better?” Daniel carefully asked

Jihoon nods a little

Silence filled the room

“Hyung” Jihoon was hesitant, “With you, that’s my first time, I’ve never did that to anyone before”

Daniel looked confused, not getting what Jihoon is talking about, “Did what?”

Jihoon fiddled with his fingers, it was awkward for him to say it out loud, “You know” he paused, “the fooling around thing”

Daniel widened his eyes. “B..but they said.. you know.. Woojin.. that-“ Daniel stumbled all his words

“It was rumour. I find it troublesome to explain so I just let it be. I don’t know you are going to hear about the rumour. If I know, I’ll clarify to you sooner. With Woojin, he was   
helping me treat my wound at my back, my hands can’t reach them, it hurts so much that he hugged me to console me. Sorry” Jihoon explained

Now is the time for Daniel to get panic. “No, no, no. Why are you saying sorry? It’s my fault. I didn’t ask you for the truth and instead believing the rumour. Damn, I’m sorry. Did I hurt you anywhere? I’m really sorry. You must hate me now.” Daniel’s voice filled with nothing but regret. He really regretted his action. He feels ashamed of himself for doing that to Jihoon, the one he promised to protect. “I..I’ll j..just take my leave” He thought Jihoon might even didn’t want to see him again. I really don’t deserve Jihoon, he thought

Jihoon widened his eyes, no; he hurriedly grabbed Daniel’s hands to stop him from leaving. Daniel braced himself for a strain of curses he expected Jihoon to throw at him; he even will let Jihoon hit him to Jihoon’s heart content.

Jihoon looked at Daniel. He thought that he would never be able to love anyone anymore after that incident. Even without Jihoon’s consent, Daniel has taken his heart away from him; Jihoon just didn’t want to admit that yet. Jihoon still hold onto the possibility that he still owns his heart by keeping himself in denial. He wants to give Daniel a chance; he wants to give himself a chance to be healed.

Jihoon only tightened his hold on Daniel’s hand. “Hyung” Jihoon sounded uncertain; there goes nothing, “Let’s try”

 

<><><><><><><>

 

Daniel widened his eyes, this wasn’t what he expected, not sure whether he heard it right or not, whether he interprets Jihoon’s message right or not. He stays silent.

“Let’s date hyung” Jihoon repeats, making himself clearer, “I mean, a serious one, the one you proposed to me. Is it still available?” Jihoon suddenly not sure.

“O..Of Course” Daniel stuttered. “But are you sure?”

Jihoon only looked up at Daniel, confused. “What do you mean?”

Daniel didn’t dare to look at Jihoon, he looked down instead, “I mean, after what I say to you just now and what I did to you. Are you sure you still want to get serious with me?”

“What about you, hyung?” Jihoon asked back, “I flirt around, kissed, and do many inappropriate things with other people, are you sure you want to get serious with me? I’m dirty”   
Jihoon said, voice so soft at the last word

But Daniel heard him just fine, “No you are not” Daniel looked at Jihoon lovingly, “I love you okay, everything about you, including your past. You must have your reason why you did all that. I don’t care what you have done in the past, no matter what you’ll always be pure and innocent Jihoon to me” Daniel softly said

Jihoon feels himself tearing up at what Daniel sees him as. He is still not sure whether Daniel will be able to take care of his heart after this but he is willing to try. Daniel is worth the risk. Even if one day Daniel had had enough of his antics and decided to leave him, at least he tried.

“So, Park Jihoon, do you want to be my boyfriend?” Daniel asked

There’s no turning back now, Jihoon thought, “Yes” there goes his heart. Now his heart belongs to Daniel and it’s up to Daniel to heal or to break them.

Daniel smiles softly at Jihoon, “You should sleep”

Jihoon looked hesitant, “umm.. hyung-“

“What is it?” Daniel was ready to get off his bed.

“Sleep with me?” Jihoon proposed

Daniel cooed at Jihoon’s cuteness, “Of course Jihoonie, anything for my princess” and Daniel tugged both of them to the bed.

 

<><><><><><><>

 

Daniel let Jihoon’s head rest on his arm and his other arm envelops Jihoon into a tight embrace. It has been so long since the last time Jihoon feels this kind of affection, it warms his heart.

When Daniel thought Jihoon is asleep, Jihoon suddenly asked, “Hyung, this wasn’t a dream right?” Jihoon opened his eyes a little to look at Daniel, “You’ll still be here when I woke up later right? You won’t leave me right?”

Daniel looked at Jihoon softly, “Of course this wasn’t a dream, and what makes you think I’m going to leave you?” Daniel asked, confused.

“Promise?”

“Promise, come on, let’s just sleep” and Daniel kissed him softly on his forehead.

With that assurance for Jihoon to hold, he sleeps contently for the first time since that horrendous night, in Daniel’s embrace. Yes, Daniel is different from Jaehyun, Daniel will take care of his heart, and he won’t be left alone. When he woke up later, Daniel will still be there.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> See you on tomorrow updates ~~~
> 
> Leave comments on what you think about this story   
> Thank You :)


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Daniel didn’t find that funny at all. He frowned. “Does this have anything to do with your past?” Daniel knows this wasn’t the perfect time to ask about Jihoon’s past, but they don’t have perfect time. Their endless schedules, especially his own individual schedules, are waiting for them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I updated as promised  
> Thank you to those leaving comments
> 
> It really means a lot <3

Jihoon woke up, having the best sleep ever since forever. He didn’t know how long he has been asleep, but sleeping in Daniel’s embrace did the trick to a nice sleep.  
Daniel’s embrace. 

Jihoon sat up abruptly. There’s no Daniel. His heartbeat quickened, sweats pooling in his forehead, and he had a hard time to breathe. This feeling is too familiar for Jihoon’s liking. 

Where’s Daniel?

Why is he alone?

Didn’t he sleep in Daniel’s embrace?

Didn’t Daniel promise him that he’ll be there when Jihoon woke up?

Was it just a dream?

No, no, no. It felt too real to be just a dream.

Jihoon runs out of the room to the living room to find it empty. He brings his feet to the kitchen only to find it empty too, Daniel’s room is also empty, every corner of their dorm is empty, and Daniel is nowhere to be found.

Jihoon falls on the floor, he feels like crying, but there’s no tears coming out from him. That day repeated itself again, Daniel is leaving him without any notice. Daniel had taken his heart and broke them to pieces again. He shouldn’t have trust Daniel and his sweet words, they are empty promises. He should have stick to his principles. He shouldn’t let his feelings blinded him. He shouldn’t-

“Jihoon-ie? You’re awake?” Daniel interrupted Jihoon’s train of thoughts. “What are you doing on the floor?”

Jihoon turned his head to where Daniel is standing. It’s Daniel. Daniel is here. 

Daniel grew worry with Jihoon’s lack of response. He runs to where Jihoon is and examined him. “Hey, are you alright?”

It was then Jihoon broke into tears and launched himself into Daniel’s embrace. 

“Where were you?!?!”

“Why aren’t you there when I woke up?”

“You said you’ll be there when I woke up!”

“You said you won’t leave me alone!!!!”

“You said you love me!!!”

Jihoon’s voice is getting weaker on every word he spluttered out

Daniel was taken aback at Jihoon’s sudden outburst. He tightened his hold on Jihoon and strokes his back slowly in an attempt to calm him down. “I went to convenience store to buy something for our dinner. The kids will be back late so we have to eat without them.” He looked at Jihoon and sigh, “I’m sorry”

They stay like that for several minutes, when Daniel feels that Jihoon had calmed down; he tried to separate himself from Jihoon’s hold on his waist. But instead, Jihoon tightened them, refusing to let go.

“Jihoon?” Daniel tried, “We should eat, can you let go of me so I can prepare our dinner?”

No response

“Baby?”

No response

Daniel sighs again, “I promise I won’t go anywhere, I’ll just prepare some food for us to eat” he paused, “You must be hungry right?”

Again, no response

Daniel gave up. He tried to stand up with Jihoon still clinging on him.

Jihoon felt a movement; Daniel tried to get away from him. As if on instinct, “No!!!” he yelled, startled Daniel to no end, “Don’t go please. I’ll do whatever you want. I’ll give you anything. Just please don’t leave me again, I don’t want to be alone again, don’t break up with me. I’m sorry. I’m really sorry.” Jihoon sobs into Daniel’s shirt

Daniel widened his eyes looking at Jihoon. What’s wrong with Jihoon, he thought. “Hey, no one is leaving you alone, I’m not leaving you, and we are not breaking up. Jihoon-ah”  
Daniel tried to look into Jihoon’s eyes, “I’m still here you see?” It breaks Daniel’s heart seeing Jihoon looking so fragile.

“Let’s just order take out okay” Daniel decides

<><><><><><><>

After making their order, Daniel and Jihoon were seated on the sofa, with Jihoon still holding into his dear life on Daniel. “Feeling better?”

Jihoon nods his head. He reluctantly separates himself from Daniel but still holding into the hem of Daniel’s shirt. “Sorry” he muttered

“Stop saying sorry Jihoon-ah, I’ve told you it’s not your fault” Daniel ensures

Jihoon nods a little again, “Hyung” he starts, not daring to meet Daniel in the eyes, “Do you hate me now?”

“What makes you say that?” Daniel asked out of confusion, “I would never be able to hate you. I love you Jihoon-ah”

Silence filled the room again

“Hey Jihoon-ah” Daniel carefully asked.”What was that just now?”

Jihoon only shook his head, “I don’t know. It never happened before. This was the first time. I scared you didn’t I?” Jihoon chuckled bitterly, trying to joke to ease the atmosphere

Daniel didn’t find that funny at all. He frowned. “Does this have anything to do with your past?” Daniel knows this wasn’t the perfect time to ask about Jihoon’s past, but they don’t have perfect time. Their endless schedules, especially his own individual schedules, are waiting for them.

“You sure you want to know?” Jihoon asked

Daniel nods his head in assurance, encouraging Jihoon to continue

Everything will be fine, Daniel wouldn’t judge him, Jihoon assures himself. Then, he told Daniel about his past and Jaehyun in detail, how he developed a trauma of being alone, how he craved for people’s existence and touch, and everything

Daniel listened in silence, absorbing every little word Jihoon said in detail, not missing a single clue. 

After Jihoon is done, he realized that he is already a crying mess. He didn’t know open up with Daniel is like opening up his old wounds, it hurts so badly. It’s different when he told Woojin.

Daniel pulls Jihoon into a warm hug, encouraging everything will be fine, you’re doing great, it’s not your fault, and so on.

After Jihoon had calmed down again, Daniel asked, “Can I ask a few questions?” which was replied by a nod from Jihoon

“So, you’ve known that you were scared of being alone”

Jihoon nods

“You did all those skinships in order to ease your uneasiness?”

Another nod

“You stop doing that with random people since you’ve become Wanna One member to protect your idol image?

Another nod

“Only Woojin?”

Another nod

“The furthest you’ve done with people is only kissing?”

Another nod

“Why did you do it so openly?”

Jihoon stays silent. He didn’t know what to answer. Will Daniel get angry if he says the truth?

“Don’t think of lying to me Jihoon-ah” Daniel said as if he has been reading Jihoon’s mind

Jihoon sighs in resignation, “I did that to provoke you hyung. You said you won’t kiss me unless we make things serious. I got angry and desperate that I tried to provoke you so that you lose control and just kiss me already” Jihoon paused, and then continues in softer voice, “You even haven’t fulfilled your promise yet”

Fortunately, Daniel didn’t hear the last part. “Okay~” Daniel said, “For your information Jihoonie, I was provoked. Too provoked that I thought I was going crazy seeing you kissing Woojin right in front of my eyes. Who in the right mind won’t get provoked by that? I’m jealous as hell.” Daniel paused, “But forget it, don’t do that again okay, you are my boyfriend now and I prefer not to share what’s mine”

Jihoon’s face flushed at Daniel’s claim of ownership, but nod nevertheless.

“Let’s continue” Daniel said, “Do you have a hard time sleeping?”

“A little” Jihoon answered

“Because of that day?”

Jihoon nods

“Do you have a panic attack after waking up? Like just now?”

Jihoon’s body tensed a little and proceeds shaking his head, “Never, this was the first time it happens”

“Do you think it has something to do with having a relationship with me?” Daniel warily asked. If having relationship with him causing Jihoon to open up an old wound and caused the younger suffer, Daniel didn’t want that.

Jihoon is hesitant but he nods his head. “I think it’s because he left me when I was asleep when we were still in a relationship, maybe I was scared that it might happened again” Jihoon quickly adds before Daniel can say anything, “But I want to try hyung” Jihoon pleads, “I don’t know whether I’ll get panic attacks again like just now but being in your embrace calms me, it’s different from any other hugs I’ve experience, it’s different from hugging Woojin. I love you hyung, don’t leave me”

Daniel was about to say something but was cut off again, “But if you find me bothersome, troublesome, just say it hyung. Just one thing, don’t leave me without any notice, if you want to break up with me, say it directly to me, I’m fine, I won’t blame y-“

Jihoon’s ramble was cut my Daniel’s pair of lips on his, shutting him all at once. Jihoon instinctively close his eyes and savour the feelings of Daniel’s lips on his. This kiss is different from the one they share before. Daniel’s kisses are so soft and gentle, full of emotion and love. Jihoon’s heart feel overwhelmed. He didn’t want any other kisses, now that he tasted Daniel’s.

They separate after a while, “Listen to me first” Daniel said, “I told you I don’t care what happened to your past. I love your past, present, and I want to be with you in your future. You might find this as empty promises that’s why I won’t say it again. I’ll show you. Just give me one chance. I won’t disappoint you. What do you say?”

Jihoon felt he is tearing up again. “Yes” then he buried his face into Daniel’s chest, inhaling his boyfriend’s scent and listening to his heartbeat. He believes that Daniel will accept him for who he is and helps him cure his heart.

Daniel hugs him back and keeps repeating I love you(s) to Jihoon.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The plan is to update tomorrow  
> I hope I can really fulfill that >,<
> 
> See you on next chapter~~~


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Despite feeling Daniel’s warmth radiating, he couldn’t help but feel uncertain. What if it’s not Daniel here hugging him? What if I was just imagining things? And many negative scenario plays in Jihoon’s mind. Jihoon held his breath and slowly opens his eyes to confirm his suspicious.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Updated!!!  
> I would like to say my thank yous to those sparing their time to leave comments here  
> I really appreciate is <3
> 
> And to all that spend their time reading my amateur fanfic, big thanks to you too :*

Jihoon didn’t remember but some time in the hug he fell asleep again. He woke up on his own bed, his room is dark. Memory flashed back into his mind and panic surging his system again. He weakly called, “Daniel hyung”

“I’m here Jihoonie” came Daniel’s reply somewhere in the room

Jihoon turns to find Daniel. Daniel was sitting on a chair in the room, playing with his phone. After finding Daniel was actually there, Jihoon finds himself able to breathe again. He heaves a sigh of relief. Everything will be fine, he told himself. 

After calming himself, he looked around the room, all the members are back and fast asleep. What time is it?

“It’s 2 in the morning” Daniel whispered as if reading Jihoon’s mind. “Come, you haven’t eaten anything yet.” He half-dragged Jihoon out of the room.

Jihoon obediently follows Daniel’s lead to the kitchen. Once seated, he looked at Daniel heating up his food. Daniel brings the food towards him, but it’s not 1 plate but 2, and place one of them in front of jihoon and another across Jihoon.

“You haven’t eaten” Jihoon said, more of a statement than a question.

Daniel looked up at Jihoon, “You’re right?” Daniel said, not sure what to answer

“Why?”

“Because I want to eat with you?” Daniel replied in confusion

“Why?”

Now Daniel didn’t know what to answer, “No reason” he said, “Besides, it’s better to eat together than alone right?”

“That’s not what I mean” Jihoon raised his voice, “Aren’t you hungry? You shouldn’t wait for me!” Jihoon knows Daniel didn’t eat earlier so that he can eat together with Jihoon even though he is hungry. He even waits for Jihoon to wake up, losing sleep himself when he is the one who needs sleep the most out of Wanna One.

“Jihoon” Daniel said voice so calm contrary to Jihoon’s emotional tone. “Last time I check, you are my boyfriend, not my mom” Daniel joked, “Don’t nag at me please? Just say thank you, I’ve had enough nagging from the hyungs just now.”

Jihoon huffed, “Fine. But next time, just eat if you’re hungry. I can eat by myself you know. I’m a grown up, not a baby”

“You will always be my baby” Daniel teased

Jihoon glared at Daniel

“Aye, aye, sr.” Daniel said and resumes eating his late dinner with Jihoon in comfortable silence.

After dinner, they get ready to sleep. Jihoon was about to enter his room but he gets hesitant. He looks back at Daniel, who has just come out from the bathroom, contemplating whether he should ask Daniel or not.

Daniel saw Jihoon’s hesitation. “What are you doing there?” he gestures to Jihoon, “Come here. Let’s sleep together.” And off to his room

Jihoon didn’t need to be told twice, he skips happily to Daniel’s room and sleep in Daniel’s embrace.

<><><><><><><>

The next morning come too fast for Jihoon’s liking. He is very comfortable in his new sleeping position. But morning means another schedule and they have their responsibilities.

Despite feeling Daniel’s warmth radiating, he couldn’t help but feel uncertain. What if it’s not Daniel here hugging him? What if I was just imagining things? And many negative scenario plays in Jihoon’s mind. Jihoon held his breath and slowly opens his eyes to confirm his suspicious. When he was greeted with Daniel’s sleeping face, he heaved a sigh of relief. This is Daniel.

After calming himself more, he slowly pries himself off from Daniel, making sure not to wake the older as he wants the older to get more sleep, and off to prepare himself for the day.

After he finished his morning routines, he walked to the kitchen to find most of the members are there already, waiting for breakfast to be served. Jihoon goes to where Minhyun was making pancakes. “I’ll help hyung” he offers

“Sure Jihoon-ah. You can put these pancakes on the table and prepare the maple syrup, it’s in the second drawer below that microwave” Minhyun said

Jihoon nods and goes to prepare the syrup for the members, not knowing the members’ gaze following his movement. He looks fine, the members thought

The members have known that Daniel and Jihoon are already in a relationship, and that Jihoon had some kind of trauma of being alone. Daniel told them last night, without the detail of course, just that Jihoon might have panic attack if he couldn’t find Daniel right after waking up. Daniel thought that it is best if the members roughly know about Jihoon’s condition. At least, if Jihoon is going to have a panic attack in the future, the members will be less surprised and know what to do. 

Actually that wasn’t the main reason, Daniel was put on the spot yesterday as he refused to eat his dinner and insisting on staying in Jihoon’s shared room waiting for Jihoon. The members wouldn’t allow Daniel to do so until Daniel tell them the true story, they even didn’t buy Daniel’s excuses saying because Jihoon and him are dating so he wants to wait and eat with Jihoon. So, Daniel didn’t have any choice but to tell them.

Jihoon is engrossed with his work until he felt a hand sneaks around his waist, back-hugging him. Jihoon smiles instantly, knowing the owner of the hands.

“Good morning Jihoonie” Daniel said sleepily, stealing a kiss on Jihoon’s cheek

“Good morning to you too sleepyhead” Jihoon said, “Go wash yourself, you stink” Jihoon wriggles himself out of Daniel

Daniel grudgingly loosened his hold, “You love me nonetheless” and walked out of the kitchen to prepare himself

Jihoon smiled, “I do” he whispered to himself

<><><><><><><>

Jihoon finished preparing the maple syrup and turned to be greeted by the members’ judging face on him, “What?” he snapped at them

They all shrug their shoulders, “Nothing” they said in unison

They all ate in complete silence. Not long after, Daniel joins them and squeezed himself between Jihoon and Sungwoon.

“Yah, there’s still another sit there” Sungwoon pointed out

“Yah, there’s no Jihoon there” Daniel retorts

“Yah, formality” Sungwoon shouts back

“Yah” Daniel said again, “I’m sorry” gaining laughter from the members in the room

Daniel easily turns the mood into a bright one, he is like sunshine, Jihoon thought. He envies Daniel’s personality. He is innocent and pure, bright and bubbly, yet sincere, persistence, and hardworking. Don’t forget his kind heartedness. He is just too perfect. Jihoon thanked all heaven and gods out there for sending Daniel into his life.

They continue eating in silence. Daniel constantly put another slice of pancake on Jihoon’s plate, insisting Jihoon to eat more while Jihoon keeps whining how he will gain weight if he ate too much. They are all over each other, forgetting other existence in the room.

“So, anything you guys want to say?” Jisung asked

Daniel stopped savouring his pancake and look at Jisung. “What?” he said, mouth still stuffed with pancakes

“You and Jihoon” Jisung hints

Daniel looked at Jihoon, “Ah” he gulps down the remaining pancakes in his mouth, “We are dating, didn’t I tell you guys already last night?” he said nonchalantly

Jihoon widened his eyes, “You tell them?”

“Yes, why?” Daniel asked

“Shouldn’t you consult with me beforehand? Why did you make decision on your own? I might want to keep this a secret you know” Jihoon huffed in annoyance

“Do you?” Daniel asked again

“No but-“ Jihoon was cut by the members

“Oh, can you guys just stop the couple fights here? We are eating for god sake. Stop flirting” Seongwoo exasperatedly said

“We are not flirting” Jihoon fumed while Daniel just snickered beside him

They have a merry breakfast, arguing here and there, laughing together, and all of them congratulate the new born couple. All except one, who can’t even follow the conversation since the beginning.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'll try my best to improve more  
> Pardon me if my writing is not up to your taste, I'm trying :)
> 
> I'm learning how to convey the characters feelings in words so that readers can catch on the feelings that I want to show here  
> But it's not an easy task -.-
> 
> Anyway, expect for more updates  
> Enjoy


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Will Woojin be able to help Jihoon more them him? Daniel thought. What if one day Jihoon thought that Daniel is selfish for not understanding Jihoon’s need and always have his way with Jihoon and left him for Woojin? No, he wouldn’t let that happen. He wants Jihoon for himself, he is that selfish but that’s just how he is. He will leave no room for third person (read: Woojin) to come in between Jihoon and him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Updated~~~  
> It took longer than I expected  
> I apologize -.-
> 
> Works and Schools are really not cooperating lately  
> I'm drained to the core
> 
> Enjoy :)

After breakfast, Daniel is sitting on the sofa, randomly changing the TV channel, looking all bored.

“Niel-ah, where’s Jihoon? Manager hyung is going to arrive soon” Minhyun reminds. Daniel, Jihoon, and Minhyun are going to attend Hello Counsellor. 

Daniel raised his shoulder, “I don’t know. Just now he said something like wanting to talk to Woojin and it’s important. Maybe in the room”

Minhyun sighs, “Tell Jihoon to be faster, we have to go” and left

Daniel drags his feet to Jihoon’s room, he knocked twice before opening the door to Jihoon and Woojin standing awkwardly in the middle of the room. “Jihoon-ah, are you finished yet? We have to go” sensing the awkward atmosphere, Daniel quickly adds, “I’ll give you 5 more minutes? Take your time” and was about to leave

“No, hyung” Jihoon quickly said and walk to where Daniel is standing, “I’m done, let’s go” without sparring a glance at Woojin and drag Daniel along way out of the room

Daniel looked back at Woojin’s dejected face, wondering what happened between them

<><><><><><><>

“Hey, what did you say to Woojin?” Daniel asked. They are on their way to Hello Counsellor.

Jihoon looked hesitate, glancing at Minhyun every now and then. Minhyun get the message and took his earphone and put them in his ears and close his eyes, respecting their privacy.

Jihoon smiles thankfully and face Daniel, “The thing is-“

(Flashback several hours ago)

“Woojin, we need to talk” Jihoon said once they finished breakfast

Woojin followed Jihoon wordlessly to the room. Once the door is closed, Woojin pinned Jihoon to the wall and start kissing him.

As if on instinct, Jihoon slapped Woojin square on the face, shocking the both of them.

“Sorry” Jihoon said, “Listen, Woojin-ah, I think we should stop this”

“Why?”

“You see, I’m in relationship with Niel hyung now, he didn’t want me to flirt around again. I don’t want to flirt around again” Jihoon explained

Woojin shook his head in disbelief, “Didn’t you say you don’t do serious relationship? He is just another play mate of yours right? I don’t mind to share. Tell me he is just another play mate! Damn it!” Woojin screamed at him

Jihoon only sigh, “This is wrong Woojin-ah. I shouldn’t even have agreed with that in the first place. I’m sorry I hurt you. I know how you feel but instead I make used of it. I’m the worst. Flirting around won’t help me heal, it’s just a temporary fun. I’m trying to be better with Niel hyung” Jihoon tried to explain, hoping Woojin will understand

“Then do it with me. Why must him?” Woojin said desperately, “I can help you. I’ll do whatever you want.”

“I don’t love you Woojin-ah, not that way. You are my precious best friend and nothing can change that.” Jihoon reasoned

“But I am always there when you are at your worst condition, not him! I accept everything about you, you flaws, your weakness, EVERYTHING! I even agreed to be your play mate because you told me you don’t do serious relationship and need someone to press down your freaking trauma. I helped you with that, not Daniel. He refused to accept your worst but I did!” Woojin couldn’t control himself

Jihoon started to get annoyed. Woojin talks bad about Daniel and Jihoon didn’t like it, “Niel hyung accept everything about me. He saw me in my weakest state that you didn’t know. He refused to be my play mate as he thinks of my future, how he pictures me to be with him in the future. He perfectly knows that being my play mate won’t help me and no one can help me heal except myself. If I refused to open up to new relationship, I won’t be able to move on. Daniel shows me the way”

Woojin chuckled at that, “What a playboy. He must have hell lot of experience in dating. You are blinded by him. He just wants to play with you I bet. Just see, once Daniel is bored with you, he’ll just left you behind and goes find another, leaving you crying and crawling back to me. Daniel is damn famous now, he can have anyone he desired, why choose problematic kid like you? He is just playing around with you, open your eyes Jihoon-ah! No one but me love you for who you a-” Woojin was slapped hard by Jihoon before he could finish his words.

“Don’t you dare speak badly about Daniel” Jihoon warns

Woojin hold his reddening cheeks, “Wh-“ before he could say anything, there’s a soft knock on the door and Daniel peek in.

“Jihoon-ah, are you finished yet?”

(End of flashback)

<><><><><><><>

By the end of Jihoon’s story, Daniel is left speechless. 

Jihoon only huffs in annoyance, “Can’t you believe it? Best friend or not, how dare he talk bad about you”

“Hyung?” Jihoon said after seeing no reaction from Daniel, “Are you okay?”

Daniel shook his head, “No, nothing. It must be hard on you, Jihoonie”

“I don’t believe anything he said. You shouldn’t let what he said get into you. You are not that kind of person. I know that.” Jihoon said again

Daniel smiles, “You’re right” 

After that, the ride becomes dead silent. Daniel stopped talking, which was a very rare occasion. When Jihoon asked why, Daniel will have his business smile, saying I’m fine, don’t worry. But that just make Jihoon more worried.

Soon, they’ve arrived at recording studio. They greet the PDs and staffs there and proceed to their waiting room. Minhyun and Jihoon had finished their touch up and it is Daniel’s turn now. Jihoon excused himself to toilet.

Daniel is still quiet which makes Minhyun anxious. “Niel-ah, something wrong?”

Daniel looked at Minhyun through the mirror, and smile, trying to bring his usual smile but instead look awkward, “Nothing hyung, why you ask?”

Minhyun is not convinced, something must have happened in the van just now, how he wished he eavesdropped a little just now, but it just plain rude. “Okay, be professional Daniel” Minhyun said, “The Pd just now ask us to record behind the stage self-cam. I’m turning it on now”

Daniel only nods. So, he heard Minhyun talking to the camera and he chipped in every now and then. They walked together to the filming set while still talking to the camera, Jihoon had joint them already. They saw 1 scrip writer signalling them to turn off the camera and Minhyun did just that.

“So, there’ll be 2 sides of seats on the stage. Separate yourself, 2 at the right side and 1 at the left side, preferably Daniel and Minhyun sitting together since there’ll be a short skit you guys need to do, but you guys decide” the script writer said and left them to make sure everything is ready for filming.

Suddenly, the show’s PD calls Daniel over, wanting to have a word with him. So, Daniel excused himself from Minhyun and Jihoon and walk to the PD.

“Hyung”Jihoon calls out

Minhyun who is busy with the camera on his hands only hums in response

“Can I sit with Daniel hyung later on stage? I know they prefer Daniel to sit with you but they say it’s up to us right?” Jihoon plead, “Please?”

Minhyun, knowing there’s something wrong with Jihoon and Daniel only nod in response, “Go ahead” hoping they can solve their problem

Hearing the response, Jihoon jumps excitedly and continue greeting the staffs he had yet to greet.

When Daniel finished talking to the PD, he was signalled to get on position at the stage. He walked to the stage, expecting Minhyun to sit with him but when he saw Jihoon instead, he gets anxious and relief at the same time but sit nonetheless.

Throughout the show, Jihoon is extra touchy with him especially when break time, not that Daniel mind. He just couldn’t find the way to shake off that guilty feeling he had after Jihoon told him about Woojin. He knows Woojin likes Jihoon, but he didn’t know to the extend he is ready to sacrifice himself and share Jihoon as long as Jihoon is still beside him. 

Will Woojin be able to help Jihoon more them him? Daniel thought. What if one day Jihoon thought that Daniel is selfish for not understanding Jihoon’s need and always have his way with Jihoon and left him for Woojin? No, he wouldn’t let that happen. He wants Jihoon for himself, he is that selfish but that’s just how he is. He will leave no room for third person (read: Woojin) to come in between Jihoon and him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorrryyyyyy  
> I love Woojin, I really do >,<  
> Anyway, how is it?
> 
> I haven't proof read this yet as I was in hurry to post this today
> 
> I hope you enjoy at least to fill in your boredom  
> I hope I can update tomorrow too
> 
> Leave me some nice comments and  
> Have a nice weekend ;)


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “WHERE’S DANIEL?!?!?!” He shouted, shocking all members present

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm glad I can fulfill my promise <3
> 
> These several chapters will be full of angsty  
> Pity Jihoon --"
> 
> Anyway, I plan to finish this story by this month (if possible)  
> I want to start updating my other fic on the other forum  
> I've been neglecting it for too long 
> 
> Enjoy

Since that day, Daniel never leaves Jihoon alone. He will make sure that Jihoon is beside him wherever they go, except when they have separate schedules of course. Ever since they started dating, Jihoon had never slept on his own bed. Instead Daniel will always invite him to sleep at Daniel’s room, not that Jihoon is complaining. 

Jihoon hasn’t been able to get rid of his anxiety every time he woke up from sleep. The first thing he does once he woke up is to reach out for Daniel. That wasn’t a problem as they always sleep and woke up together. This routine has continued for almost a month already. The members are worried for Jihoon but decided not to say anything.

Woojin and Jihoon’s relationship are getting more awkward as Jihoon refused to accept Woojin’s apologies and Woojin keep insisting on apologising. 

Today Daniel has schedule and won’t be back until dawn. Jihoon is anxious. 

(The morning)

“Just sleep on my bed, I’ll be back before you woke up okay?” Daniel ensured him 

“Promise?” Jihoon asked, holding the hem of Daniel’s shirt like his life depended on it, not like there’s anything else he could do.

Daniel smiled at Jihoon’s adorableness, “Promise”

(End of flashback)

It’s 1 in the morning already and Jihoon is still wide awake on Daniel’s bed, inhaling Daniel’s scent, trying to calm his rapid heartbeat down. Daniel said he will be here when I woke up, Daniel promised, he never broke his promises, Jihoon said to himself.

Soon after, Jihoon is getting sleepier and sleep while hugging Daniel’s plushie.

<><><><><><><>

Jihoon woke up. As usual, his first instinct is to reach out to feel Daniel. When he felt someone’s presence beside him, he smile in relieve. But that doesn’t last long. It doesn’t feel the same. Jihoon abruptly sat up to confirm his suspicious.

What he sees makes his mind went wild. His heart beats frantically, he is sweating all over, and tears started pooling in his eyes. Where’s Daniel?

Jihoon started to tremble. Daniel must be outside, he convinced himself. With trembled legs and trying to hold his tears, he hugged Daniel’s plushie tight and walked out of the room to find Daniel. Most of the members are awake, but there’s no trace of Daniel in sight.

“Where’s Daniel?” Jihoon asked no one in particular

Since everyone is engrossed in their own business, no one noticed Jihoon’s presence yet.

“WHERE’S DANIEL?!?!?!” He shouted, shocking all members present

Jihoon falls on the floor, crying hard. He feels as if there’s a knife stabbing hard on his chest, torturing him. His keeps crying harder and harder, not caring the attention he was drawing.

Surprise is an understatement on how the members are feeling. They are mortified. Although they know Jihoon might have panic attack, Thanks to Daniel for telling them, but they’ve never seen one themselves. They panic, didn’t know what to do.

Daniel was supposed to arrive last night, but there several circumstances causing Daniel wouldn’t be able to get home on time. Daniel called Jaehwan beforehand and tries to find solution which was putting Guanlin to sleep beside Jihoon, Jaehwan’s genius idea. Daniel still tries his best to be back soon but in the mean time, the members are left with dealing with Jihoon.

Jihoon started to feel it’s getting hard to breathe. But he couldn’t stop crying, he keeps hitting his chest in attempt to ease the hurtful feeling, getting harder by each hit. The members grew worry. Jisung tried to approach Jihoon and stop Jihoon from hurting himself but Jihoon didn’t budge and keep crying and hitting his chest, while chanting Daniel’s name on repeat.

“Jihoon-ah, hey, calm down, Daniel will be back soon.” Seongwoo tried to talk. But it’s useless; Jihoon couldn’t hear anything at the moment. He needs Daniel now. Guanlin tried to hug Jihoon only to be pushed harshly by Jihoon and almost hit his head on the table nearby.

Jaehwan excused himself to the room and dial Daniel’s number. “Yah, Kang Daniel! The dorm is a mess! Your boyfriend is out of control” Jaehwan shouts right after Daniel picked up the phone

“I know! Do something damn it, I’m on my way” Daniel’s voice filled with worry, “You and your master plan, I should have known it won’t work”

“We don’t know what to do” Jaehwan sighs, suddenly an idea popped in his mind, “Why don’t you talk to him now?”

Hearing that, “You’re right, why didn’t I think of that earlier? Give the phone to him Kim Jaehwan” Daniel said

“Because I’m smarter than you” Jaehwan declared proudly while walking to where Jihoon is. Daniel chooses to ignore Jaehwan’s comment.

<><><><><><><>

“Jihoon, Daniel wants to talk to you” Jaehwan said

Hearing Daniel’s name, Jihoon snapped up and snatched Jaehwan’s phone away from him. “D..Daniel?” He said with trembling voice

“Yes, it’s me Jihoonie” Daniel said, tried to sound calm, inside he is going crazy already

Hearing Daniel’s voice calm Jihoon a bit, but Daniel is still not there. “Hyung…Hyung..” He keeps crying, “Where are you? Why you are not here? You promise me. Hyung, come back” Jihoon said between sobs. He stops only because he finds it hard to breathe again.

“I’m sorry, I’m on my way now, you need to calm down. Let the hyung take care of you while I’m on my way, okay?” Daniel persuaded.

“Hyung” Jihoon sounded weaker now, “I can’t breathe,” he said in between sobs, “It’s hurt” another sobs, “It feels so hurt, it doesn’t want to go away”

“Listen Jihoonie, take a deep breath and release slowly” Daniel said on the line

Jihoon obediently follow. He takes a deep breath and release, take a deep breath and release. He keeps repeating until he feels himself able to breathe properly again.

“There you go. Good job, Jihoonie. That’s my baby” Daniel said “Now, hold up a little more until I’m back okay? Listen well to the hyungs”

Jihoon nods, although Daniel couldn’t see that, “Now can you hand the phone to Jaehwan? I want to talk to him for a moment” Jihoon hands the phone to Jaehwan wordlessly, small hiccups still echoed in the room

Taking back his phone, he retreats to the room to talk to Daniel, “What is it?”

“Prepare hot towel for Jihoon to wipe himself, don’t let him go to bath now. Ah, don’t forget to make a cup of hot chocolate to ease his tension. And make sure someone always stay beside him” Daniel said pointedly

“Yah, who do you think you are” Jaehwan grumbled

Daniel only smiles, “I know I can count on you. I love you” and cut the line

Jaehwan looked at his phone in disbelief, “You are lucky to have me as best friend Damniel” and proceed to do Daniel’s command wordlessly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What do you think?
> 
> I can't express how much I love NielWink interaction  
> and they really are frustrating couple, we barely have their moments as it wasn't a major ship to begin with  
> But I'm glad Daniel is making effort to have more interaction with Jihoon and Jihoon too started to be more open
> 
> Vlive today is lit, I love the cheap NielWink and we are fed well today, Thank you  
> And AllWink on Vlive is forever going to be my favourite
> 
> See you tomorrow~~~


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Okay then” Daniel pulls Jihoon into his embrace, “I’m doing this for you Jihoon-ah, don’t get the wrong idea, I love you”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm back again
> 
> I'm feeling so angsty lately so it prompted me to write more angsty
> 
> I just hope that I won't let this fic end in one >,<
> 
> Enjoy

Daniel opened the door harshly and stormed to the living room once he gets back home, “Where’s Jihoon?” He breathlessly says

“In your room” Jaehwan said, “He’s sl-“ before he could continued, Daniel had run back to his room, “You’re welcome Daniel” Jaehwan mumbled to no one in particular

(In Daniel’s shared room)

Daniel opened the door slowly, revealing Jihoon sleeping on his bed, hugging one of his plushie. 

Daniel locked the door behind him and walks silently not to wake Jihoon. He squat to get a better look of Jihoon’s sleeping face. Jihoon had tear-stained evidence on his face. He is crying to sleep. Daniel swipes Jihoon’s bang away, but that action woke Jihoon up.

Jihoon opened his eyes when he felt someone touched him. He was met with smiling Daniel. Seeing Daniel in front of him now bring back tears to his face. He sat up and launched himself to hug Daniel, not caring that he put his entire weight on Daniel, causing them both stumbled backward, if not for Daniel’s quick reflexes, steadying both of them.

“You’re back” Jihoon said between sobs, “You’re finally back”

Daniel strokes Jihoon’s back softly, “I’m back. I’m here. I’m sorry” Daniel said regretfully

Jihoon pulled back a little, looking at Daniel, “It’s fine, you’re back, that’s all that matter”

Daniel leans in and pecks Jihoon softly on the lips before putting Jihoon to sit on his bed. You’re sweating, let’s change your clothes. Daniel stood up and randomly took 1 sweater out of his closet and gives it for Jihoon to wear.

Jihoon didn’t need to be told twice, he took his sweater off and immediately wear Daniel’s, inhaling the scene of the older. It calms him down.

Daniel took a sit beside Jihoon, “So, anything you want to say?” Daniel asked

Jihoon shook his head, no

Daniel sighs, “Listen Jihoon-ah, don’t you think this is getting serious? Your trauma I mean” Daniel starts carefully

“As long as you’re here, I’m fine” Jihoon said, avoiding eye-contact with Daniel

“That’s not what I mean” Daniel is lost for words, “Sure, I don’t mind to be beside you every time you wake up. But there’ll be circumstances where I wouldn’t be there, like just now. Are you thinking of repeating the same thing again every time I wasn’t there when you wake up? Don’t you want to get better?”

“I’m fine with how things are” Jihoon mumbled

“Let’s fine a doctor” Daniel decides

Jihoon looks up at Daniel, eyes as wide as saucer, “No, no, no. I don’t want to go to doctor. I’m not sick. I’m fine, really”

Daniel raised his eyebrow

“I’ll try harder not to get panic attack if you weren’t there. Let me try it myself first, if it’s not working, we’ll go to the doctor.” Jihoon tried, “Please”

Daniel ponders for a moment, “Promise me you’ll go to the doctor if it’s not working?” Jihoon nods, “No lying to me?” Jihoon nods again

“Okay then” Daniel pulls Jihoon into his embrace, “I’m doing this for you Jihoon-ah, don’t get the wrong idea, I love you”

Jihoon only nods again, not trusting his own voice.

<><><><><><><>

After that day, everything proceeds just fine. Jihoon didn’t get panic attack again (Daniel is always there when Jihoon wake up, so yeah), their comeback is another huge success, variety and cfs love calls keep coming for them, and Daniel is getting busier and busier.

The time spent between Daniel and Jihoon is getting lesser and lesser. Daniel rarely follows their practice schedules due to schedules overlapped. Daniel even couldn’t attend Wanna One’s group schedules because of his individual schedules. Jihoon had missed Daniel so much that one day he asked Daniel to give him his plushie. Daniel of course gave it to him.

Despite, they still sleep together at night, Jihoon insists that. Although Daniel will be back late and Jihoon is already asleep, he still insists Daniel to sleep with him. In the van, he’ll pull Daniel to sit with him and in the dorm, wherever Daniel is, Jihoon will follow him suit.

Daniel didn’t say anything, he just lets Jihoon do whatever he wants without complaining and Jihoon can’t be happier than that.

“Did you have panic attack again?” Daniel asked one day, implying on the time he had to stay out due to conflicting schedules.

Jihoon shook his head, “Nope, never. I’m fine. See, I told you I can manage this myself without going to doctor” Jihoon said confidently

“Are you sure?” Daniel asked, not convinced

“Yup. I’m sure.” Jihoon ensures

No, it’s getting worst, Jihoon thought. Every time he woke up without Daniel beside him, he freaks out. He’ll hug Daniel’s plushie, looking at Daniel’s picture, and put on earphone, and listen to Daniel’s voice from the recording he secretly took when Daniel is talking to him or from fan account where Daniel sings. When things get harder, he went as far as cutting his own wrist with cutter or small knife just to ease the pain in his heart. Although it’s not that effective, it did the trick for some time until Daniel is back and he’ll go and hug Daniel right after Daniel is back, saying I miss you as excuses.

The members know about this (not the cutting) and Jihoon begged each one of them to keep this a secret from Daniel. Of course they refused at first but Jihoon is persistent. The members finally give in to Jihoon’s wish after seeing Jihoon’s determination.

However, the members noticed Jihoon’s tendency on wearing long sleeves, muttering he is cold as excuses and even begging their stylish to give him long sleeves clothes. Thank god it’s winter. Something is wrong but the members didn’t know why.

<><><><><><><>

One afternoon where Daniel, once again, is out doing his schedule, the members are in practice room, preparing for comeback.

“Okay, let’s have 15 minutes break” Jisung announced

The members all flop to the ground, releasing the tiredness pooling in their system after repeating the same routines for the nth time for the sake of perfection. They shouldn’t   
disappoint the fans right?

“I’m going to buy something in the convenience store, anything to add?” Jihoon stood up, ready to go. The walk to the convenience store is not that far, he should be able to make it in less than 15 minutes.

The members all give out their order and Jihoon tried his best to remember all of them. 

After Jihoon left, the members start talking, “Hey, don’t you think we should tell Daniel about Jihoon?” Jaehwan starts to open the taboo topic

“Agree” Seongwoo raised his hand

“Agree” This time it’s Minhyun

“Agree too” Jisung

“I’m in” Jinyoung said

“Agree” Sungwoon said

“It’s for the best, I agree” Guanlin said

“But Jihoon hyung will be brought to hospital if we tell Niel-hyung” Daehwi said, “Hospitals are scary”

All members look at their maknae, then ignore him, “I think all of us have agreed.” Minhyun continued, “Just look at Jihoon, he cried and locked himself in the bathroom every   
morning when Daniel is not there. He even took Daniel’s picture and recording to calm himself. It’s like an addiction already, an obsession. It’s not healthy.”

“Don’t you think it’s suspicious why Jihoon keeps on wearing long sleeves?” Sungwoon adds, “He said he wasn’t bothered by cold before”

Seongwoo nods in agreement, “Moreover, whenever Daniel is around, unless there’s camera, he’ll stick to Daniel like a gum. If I were Daniel, I think I’ll get annoyed too.”

“They even sleep together every night. I don’t mind with that of course, but you can see Daniel will give more space for Jihoon to sleep comfortably while he himself will either squeezed to the wall or on the verge of falling off the bed. I know Daniel is whipped for Jihoon but I think he had sacrificed enough. I think he will snapped one day when his schedules are too much to handle and he still needs to babysit Jihoon” Jisung explains, his motherly instinct always comes alive whenever it involves Daniel. He couldn’t help but being biased towards Daniel. It’s a habit he developed for being close to Daniel.

“I am so worried for Daniel hyung, he doesn’t seem to gain weight even after all those foods he inhales. He must be stressed out” Jinyoung adds

“I wonder how long can Daniel withstand Jihoon’s antics until he finally had enough” Sungwoon said, “I don’t think I could even last for a week”

“If only Jihoon hyung will let us help him” Guanlin said sadly, “He didn’t one anyone to help him other than Daniel hyung. I feel like he didn’t trust us at all” 

The members sigh, what Guanlin said were true, they couldn’t deny that. If only Jihoon would rely on them, Daniel will be helped. They can see Daniel keeps losing weight and the bag under his eyes are getting more prominent that the stylish need to add extra effort to conceal them. And they really want to help Jihoon.

But Daniel being Daniel had never once complains. He still follow all schedules diligently, constantly help the members in mastering the dance moves, smiling and keep his bubbly self to liven up the moods.

What they didn’t know is Jihoon was standing in front of the practice room listening to them all these while. He was about to leave, but he forgot his wallet and come back to retrieve them but instead he was greeted with this.

So, after hearing that, Jihoon lowered his head. He feels guilty; Daniel sacrificed a lot for him. He wonders how long Daniel will keep up with his antics. Will Daniel get tired and left him? Jihoon didn’t want that. He shouldn’t annoy Daniel. Jihoon shouldn’t bother Daniel more than he already is. He looked down at his wrist. It has ugly cuts here and there. He hold it, no one, especially Daniel should know about this.

Jihoon went back to practice room after some time, saying the convenience store is closed when the members asked for their orders and lost in his own thoughts.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I planned to update regularly this week and might be less active next week
> 
> Works and schools didn't let me breathe I swear
> 
> They are suffocating me
> 
> I'm thankful that I have supportive friends by my side and NielWink to cheer me up
> 
> So, see you soon <3


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Don’t!!! Don’t tell Daniel hyung!” Jihoon screams again

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, I'm sorry for another angsty fic  
> I promise I'll gradually make it better
> 
> Also, thank you for taking your time commenting  
> I really appreciate them <3

Since then, Jihoon had been keeping a fair amount of distance from Daniel and the rest of Wanna One members. Jihoon even lessened the amount he sleeps with Daniel to 3-4 times a week. His mood drop significantly and he looks bad. He only smiles once camera rolls and back frowning when camera is off.

But that wasn’t the worst thing. Now Jihoon didn’t get panic attack only after waking up. Even in the middle of the day, the fear of losing Daniel can suddenly rise up his system. It happens if he didn’t see Daniel for quite some time. It doesn’t help with the fact that Daniel schedules keep piling up one after another.

Daniel noticed Jihoon’s change, everyone notice, yet they didn’t know why. When they confront Jihoon about that, Jihoon will only reply with I’m tired. 

Since all of them are so busy, they let it passed. 

<><><><><><><>

Jihoon’s panic attack is getting worst by the passing day. He couldn’t bring himself to tell Daniel the truth. He is scared, not only because Daniel will definitely bring him to hospital but the fact that he had lied to Daniel and will put Daniel on burden more than he already was, he is scared Daniel might have had enough with him. He is not ready to lose Daniel. Hell, he’ll never ready to lose Daniel. He’ll do anything to keep Daniel, so that Daniel will stay.

Today, Daniel, Jaehwan, and Seongwoo are scheduled to attend a variety show where they have to stay for 2 days and 1 night out there. That doesn’t leave pleasant feeling for Jihoon. He knows what he’ll face without Daniel here

“Hyung” Jihoon peeks in Daniel’s room as Daniel is packing his luggage for the show. “Can I come in?”

“Sure Jihoonie” Daniel said, eyes still focused on his belonging.

Jihoon sat on Seongwoo’s bed looking at Daniel’s back, “When will you be leaving?”

“Soon, maybe” Daniel answered then turns to look at Jihoon, “What’s wrong?”

Jihoon stood up and hug Daniel immediately, he feels like crying already. Today is one of those days where Jihoon feels like he is going to have panic attack soon. Daniel hugs Jihoon and strokes his back. “Are you okay? Are your panic attack acting up?”

Jihoon wanted to say yes, wanted to say that it never gets better, but he held it in. “No, I’m fine. I think I’m just going to miss you”

Daniel chuckled at that, “It’s only 1 night” he pries Jihoon’s hands from his waist and go down to Jihoon’s level, “I’m going to miss you too” and lean in to capture Jihoon’s lips in his. 

The kiss was slow and gentle, just like Jihoon like it. He feels calm and warm. They kissed for quite some time as it has been so long the last time the kissed, with the never ending schedules and Jihoon tried to put distance between them. They part way to take a breath and leans in again, savouring every seconds they spent.

Daniel is first to break the kiss to Jihoon’s dismay. “You are going to be fine right? Don’t hesitate to call me if you feel unwell okay?” Daniel asked, “Don’t hesitate to ask help from the other hyungs too if you need it, they’ll gladly help you” he paused, “Promise me?”

Jihoon nods, “Promise”

“Okay, let’s cuddle until manager hyung come? You have been distance lately” Daniel pouts

<><><><><><><>

Everything went fine that day. Jihoon doesn’t feel like he is going to have panic attack soon. He feels weirdly fine. But still, at night, he prefers to sleep at Daniel’s bed, thinking Daniel is actually there with him.

However, that night Jihoon experienced the worst nightmare he ever had. In his dream, Daniel finds out that Jihoon has been lying to him and Daniel has been really disappointed. The worst has yet to come. Suddenly a breaking news come out, headlining Daniel and a girl, Jihoon couldn’t recognize, has started dating. Both sides had confirmed the validity of the news. When Jihoon asked Daniel why, Daniel coldly answered him saying that Jihoon was too troublesome and boring that it’s better for them to break up.

Jihoon woke up abruptly. He is covered with sweat and his heart beats frantically like it wants to jump out of his chest. He trembly reached out for Daniel’s plushie and hugs them while putting his earphone to listen to Daniel’s voice. Usually, it did the trick but not this time. Jihoon couldn’t get the image of Daniel leaving him out of his mind. He started trashing around to shake off that feeling away to no avail. He started to sob softly, and getting harder.

Jisung who was sleeping felt a muffled noise behind him and forced to wake up. He turned to see Jihoon bundled up and cry(?) in Daniel’s comforter and hugging Daniel’s plushie toy hard.

Jisung walks to where Jihoon is, tapping on his shoulder softly, “Jihoon-ah, you okay?”

Jihoon felt someone tap on his shoulder. He bites his lips trying to muffle his sobs but fail. But he refused to move.

Jisung grew worry. He pulls the comforter away, revealing a crying mess Jihoon, recording still on and holding onto Daniel’s plushie like his life depended on them. “Jihoon-ah, calm down, talk to me Jihoon-ah”

Seeing no reaction from Jihoon, Jisung tried to pull the earphone from Jihoon’s ears. That did the trick. Jihoon sits up and started to scream, “No!!! Give it back. Don’t take Daniel from me!”, shocking the hell out of Jisung.

But Jisung didn’t give Jihoon’s earphone back, instead, he tries to hug crying mess Jihoon, “Listen Jihoon-ah, you should go find a doctor. You can’t be like this forever”

Jihoon is trashing around in Jisung’s embrace, not liking it one bit. He wants to see Daniel. Daniel only. All the noise they make woke the rest of the members in the dorm. They all gathered in Daniel’s shared room in no time.

“What’s wrong?” Daehwi was the last to enter

“Jihoon is having one of his episodes again, but worst?” Sungwoon said

By that time, Jisung had released Jihoon from his embrace, leaving Jihoon hyperventilating on Daniel’s bed, clutching onto his chest. He trembly reached out to his pocket and takes a folded cutter out, ready to cut his wrist again. He needs to distract the pain in his chest.

The members widened their eyes at what was revealed in front of them. They froze on the spot until Jihoon had pulled his sleeves and put the first slice on the barely healed wounds that Jisung slap the cutter away from his hands.

The maknaes are loss of words. There are a lot of cuts on his wrist, both left and right. They wonder how many times Jihoon had done this. Minhyun quickly went to his room and take his first aid kit and immediately treat Jihoon’s wound. With Jihoon still trashing around, it is a really hard work.

The members didn’t know what to do; Jihoon didn’t let anyone approach him. He keeps chanting Daniel’s name. “Let’s call Daniel hyung” Guanlin said

“Don’t!!! Don’t tell Daniel hyung!” Jihoon screams again

“But you need him now” Sungwoon said

“No! He’ll leave me if he knows. I don’t want to bother him” Jihoon cried, “He’ll break up with me. Don’t make Daniel hyung leave me also” and keeps repeating the same words over and over.

“But you are hurting Jihoon-ah, Daniel had the right to know” Jisung said, “He can help you”

Jihoon couldn’t hear Jisung anymore, he keeps saying, Daniel will leave me Daniel will leave me Daniel will leave, while clutching his heart, scaring the members.

Seeing that, “I’m calling Daniel” Sungwoon decides.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have nothing much to say  
> I'm sorry as my amateur ass couldn't satisfy you  
> I'll improve (I hope)
> 
> Let's appreciate NielWink as much as we can now as our time is limited
> 
> See you tomorrow <3


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “And let’s have you see the doctor” Daniel said carefully

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Updated  
> I'm sorry I couldn't keep my promise  
> That 6gd*m issue got me
> 
> Seeing Daniel's saddened expression on Gaon Awards anger me  
> Ugh, how I really despise her
> 
> Anyway, it's over and let's move on

“Jihoon!” Daniel comes barging in the room

Jihoon looks up to meet Daniel’s worried eyes, “Hyung” He weakly said

(Flashback)

“I’m calling Daniel” Sungwoon decides

“NO! Don’t, please” Jihoon begged

Sungwoon ignored Jihoon and walked out of the room to make the call

It takes some time before the line is connected as its freaking 1 am in the morning, “What is it hyung?” Daniel said groggily.

“I know this sounds crazy but can you find a way to come back here without anyone noticing?” Sungwoon said straight to the point, “Like immediately”

“Why?” Daniel don’t understand

Suddenly a voice was heard, “No! Don’t call Daniel! Please!” Sungwoon sighs, “That’s why” he said

Daniel didn’t need any more explanation, “ I’ll be there” and ends the call

(Ends of Flashback)

<><><><><><><>

Jihoon forcefully pried away from Jisung’s and Minhyun’s hold and run crashing himself to Daniel’s embrace. “Hyung, I-I’m s..sorry” and continue to sobs

Daniel almost lost balance while catching Jihoon. He strokes his back repeatedly and looking at the members in his shared room. As if they get the signal, one by one, the members get out of the room, giving the two their space. Jisung is the last to step out, before he close the door, he looked at Daniel and pointing at Jihoon’s hands. 

Once the door is closed, Daniel went to lock it with Jihoon still clinging on him. He placed both of them on the bed, trying to be comfortable in the uncomfortable position. First, he looked at Jihoon’s hands as what Jisung told him to. He widened his eyes and clenched his fist hard, controlling his emotion.

“How many times has this been happening?” Daniel asked

He received no response from Jihoon and Jihoon pulled his hands out of Daniel’s grip

“Jihoon” Daniel tried again

Jihoon hesitates, “Never, this is the first since that day” he lied

“Please, not another lie Jihoon” Daniel said, “This” he holds Jihoon’s wrist up, “has several sliced, old and new”

His pleads was again met with silence. Daniel sighed, “Please be honest with me. I’m not going to get angry with you”

“I don’t know” Jihoon said instead

Daniel is getting frustrated, “Jihoo-“ but he was cut, “I really don’t know!” Jihoon shouts

Daniel widened his eyes at Jihoon’s sudden outburst. 

Jihoon got up and look at Daniel, tears keep streaming down his pretty face, “I don’t f*cking know, Daniel. I’ve lost count! It has been happening constantly and it keeps getting worst each day. I couldn’t tell you, I don’t want to tell you. Why? At first it’s because I was scared you’ll bring me to hospital. But it’s getting harder each day that I did this to subside the pain in my heart. Then, I don’t want to bother you with my problem as you are tired enough with your endless schedules, plus you need to deal with my antics. And now, I was scared because I lied to you! I’m afraid that you might had enough of me and leave me just like Jaehyun hyung” Jihoon stopped, taking a deep breath to steady his frantic heart beat from all his overflowing emotion that he tried hard to compress all these days.

Daniel couldn’t give immediate response as he is still trying to take in his newly found information, newly found Jihoon’s insecurities. Daniel cursed at himself for not noticing how much the younger had suffered all these times. He blamed himself for Jihoon’s condition. He should have been more sensitive when out of nowhere, Jihoon came to him and hug him, and when Jihoon suddenly keep on wearing long-sleeved clothes. Also, when he was about to leave earlier yesterday, he should have realized that Jihoon is hurting.

<><><><><><><>

Jihoon interprets Daniel’s silence as affirmation from the older towards his insecurities. “Hyung, I’m sorry. Just forget what I said just now. I’ll do anything, anything. Just don’t break up with me. Just don’t leave me. I’m sorry”

That snaps Daniel out of his dazed. “Sst, no one is leaving.” He assured, “I’m still here, aren’t I? I’m not planning to go anywhere, not without you.”

But it seems like Jihoon is not listening. He keeps on mumbling, I’ll do anything, don’t leave me, I’m sorry, like a spell.

Seeing that, Daniel smiles hopelessly and pulls Jihoon into his embrace, hugging him tightly. That action stopped Jihoon’s tears and rambles instantly.

After a moment, when Daniel felt Jihoon had calmed down, he tried again, “Feeling better?”

Jihoon nods a little

Daniel chuckled, “Don’t jump into conclusion so fast can you?” he starts, “I’m not mad at you and I never find you clinging on me as something bothering or annoying. If anything, I like it, no, I love it. I need you to bother me with more of your problems. Isn’t that what boyfriend for? I love anything about you, your antics, your insecurities, everything, remember that. Although I felt hurt when you lie to me also when you think you are bothering me” Daniel said, pouting in the end.

Jihoon still couldn’t look at Daniel directly, “I’m sorry. I won’t lie again. Let me make it up to you. I’ll do anything, just tell me”

Daniel wanted to say he didn’t need the younger to do anything but suddenly an idea pop up in his mind, “Then I’ll take up the offer. You’ll do whatever I want right?” Daniel makes sure

Jihoon nods again, “Anything”

“Stop hurting yourself” Daniel said, indicating the cuts on his wrist

Jihoon nods

“And let’s have you see the doctor” Daniel said carefully

Jihoon expected Daniel to ask for something materialistic or something like kisses or hugs. Jihoon mentally slaps himself. This is Daniel he is talking about. Jihoon is supposed to know that Daniel will ask for this. “But-“

“You promise remember?” Daniel cuts him, “Anything”

Jihoon didn’t have any choice. “Okay”

Daniel smiles at Jihoon’s answer, “Don’t worry, I’ll be there with you. We’ll be meeting my close friend in his house. He is a great psychiatrist. He’ll help you and keep your secret. No one will know” Daniel adds, “Remember, I’m doing this not because I find your insecurities bothering or annoying. I’m doing this for you. I love you”

Jihoon finally dares to look up and meet Daniel’s eyes. “I know. I love you too”

“Great. I’ll make appointment” Daniel smiles again, “Now, what do you want to do? It’s just-“ Daniel looked at his phone, “3 in the morning. Want to sleep more?”

Jihoon shook his head, “I’d rather spent my time talking with you” Jihoon said, “If it’s not asking too much” he quickly adds

Daniel pinched his cheeks, “Of course it’s not. Why are you being so formal?” Daniel cooed. “Just do whatever you want with me. No need to ask permission. Just say whatever you want to say to me, don’t hold it. No matter what I’ll always be here. I’m not leaving. Not even when you sick of me some day.”

<><><><><><><>

They continued their conversation until dawn, saying whatever comes to mind. When the clock hits 5 in the morning, his alarm blared and Daniel jumps.

“Ah, I need to go back or they’ll know I’m leaving” Daniel said

“You left without telling them?” Jihoon asked, confused

Daniel looked at Jihoon for a moment, “Of course I couldn’t tell anyone, it might cause issue later” He said as a matter of fact

“How did you manage to reach here?” Jihoon asked. Now that he is calmed, he started to have a lot of questions.

“Bus and some walking or running(?)” Daniel said nonchalantly, as if it’s the most natural thing in the world. 

“You shouldn’t do that you know” Jihoon feels guilty again

This time Daniel sensed that, “It’s not your fault, this is my will. Just think of it as I missed you so much yesterday that I came back her just to see you, hm? Don’t beat yourself too much” 

“I gotta go. See you tonight babe” Daniel said, while leaning in to put a soft peck on Jihoon’s lips before storm out of the dorm.

Jihoon smiles to himself, thinking how lucky he is to have Daniel by his side. Although his panic attacks might hit again later, Daniel promised to heal him and be there by his side. Jihoon stood up and head to the kitchen to prepare something simple, like cereal or warm milk for the members, as an apology as well as gratefulness for dealing with his antics since he is not allowed to cook.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'll update tomorrow too,  
> I'm working on it right now
> 
> My writing is not the best but I'll try
> 
> Enjoy, and see you <3


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> From: 010-XXXXXXXXXXX  
> Hi, Jihoon right? How are you?  
> This is Jaehyun hyung, remember?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Updated~
> 
> I think it's about time to reach the climax and end this soon~  
> I'm working on it  
> I hope it won't disappoint you
> 
> Enjoy

“This is Jihoon, my band mate” Daniel introduced, “the one I told you before” Daniel didn’t told him Jihoon and his relationship.

Jihoon and Daniel are both in Seonghan’s house, the psychiatrist, Daniel’s close friend. “And Jihoon, this is Seonghan.” He paused, “A hyung for you”

Seonghan offers a handshake to Jihoon and Jihoon timidly accept. He is so nervous right now as he is about to reveal his darkest secret to a complete stranger. Of course Jihoon knows he is a psychiatrist, it’s his job to keep secret and help his patient. Moreover they have pledge to do that. Regardless, Jihoon is still nervous.

“Please have a seat” Seonghan said then.

Daniel is first to seat, “I’m sorry to bother you this late. This is the only time we have” he smiled apologetically.

“Don’t bother with that. I know how busy idol’s life can be. You helped me a lot back then. I can’t believe you really did that. Nation’s Center huh?” Seonghan teased

Daniel blushed at that, “Back to the topic” Daniel tried to avert the attention to Jihoon. “So, how is it?”

Seonghan moved his attention to the small boy beside Daniel, “Just call me hyung” he starts and smile, “Daniel had told me briefly about you. But it won’t be the same if it’s not you the one who told me directly”

Jihoon becomes uneasy. He didn’t mind the psychiatrist knows about his past but having to say it himself is different. He stole a quick glance at Daniel who smiles reassuringly at him. Daniel really wants to hold Jihoon’s hand but quickly dismiss the idea. They couldn’t afford people to know about their relationship although it’s his best friend they are talking about here.

It took several minutes of silence for Jihoon to contemplate his wordings. “Actually…”

Jihoon poured out everything that has been weighing his heart all this time, including some details that even Daniel has yet to know. Seonghan only listen wordlessly while scribbling some words on his notes and occasionally smile at Jihoon, encouraging him to continue.

After Jihoon finished, he didn’t realized he had been crying all these while until Seonghan handed him tissues. “I’m sorry” Jihoon mumbled

“It’s fine” Seonghan said, still engrossed in his notes, thinking hard and they are faced with dead silence

“He hurts himself several time to subside the pain in his chest too” Daniel said, showing Jihoon’s wrist and Jihoon only can look down in embarrassment.

Seonghan examines the cuts for a moment before heaving a sigh

Daniel is first to break the silent, “So how is it, hyung? Is it really serious?”

Seonghan sighs, “This is some kind of trauma, I don’t think I should tell you the terminology” Seonghan said and Daniel nods, “It’s a trauma developed for a long time. So, in short, it will take a while to cure.”

“It’s fine” Daniel said, “What should we do? I mean, what should he do?”

Seonghan looked at Daniel and Jihoon back and forth, “Through medication and routine check up of course. But-“ Seonghan said when he saw Daniel was about to interrupt, “We can have shorter route”

That gained Jihoon’s attention, “What is it?”

“Face your problem” Seonghan said short, “I mean you need to face this Jaehyun guy, end things up. You say it yourself you guys haven’t meet ever since then. What you need the most in order to move on is proper ending with him” he explained

Daniel and Jihoon stay silent for a moment, “But Jihoon didn’t even know where this guy is, remember?”

“That’s the problem” Seonghan said, “We are left with no choice but to follow the routine check up and medication procedures” then he adds, “Don’t worry, your secret is safe with me” he smiles reassuringly

Both Daniel and Jihoon thanked Seonghan and left. 

<><><><><><><>

On the bus ride home, both Daniel and Jihoon are absorbed in their own thinking. 

“Hyung” Jihoon breaks the silence, “Do you think this is going to work?”

“Of course” Daniel said, “Don’t start thinking negatively Jihoon-ah. Everything will be fine. I’m here. I’ll always be here”

Jihoon only nods in response. He really isn’t sure that this is going to work but he didn’t want Daniel’s effort to go to waste. So, he just gets along with it for the moment. Jihoon really wants to be better, and fast. Seonghan said that he needs to face the root of his problem, Jaehyun. But how?

As if answering his prayer, suddenly his phone beep, indicating he just received a new message

 

From: 010-XXXXXXXXXXX  
Hi, Jihoon right? How are you?  
This is Jaehyun hyung, remember?

 

Jihoon’s eyes is as wide as saucer, he couldn’t believe what he had just seen. Jaehyun really contacted him. After all these while Jihoon was suffering, why now? Anger, hurt, betrayed, longing, and many more mixed emotions are circulating in Jihoon’s system. He didn’t even know what he is feeling anymore. 

Daniel is curious what kind of message Jihoon just received that he suddenly freezes on spot. “Who is it Jihoonie?”

Jihoon didn’t answer, he is still in shock. So, Daniel takes a quick peek at Jihoon’s screen. When he reads the message, he unconsciously clenched his fist, his blood boils, and anger surge through his entire body. He tried to calm himself down. Now is not the time for immature, irrational thinking. He took a deep breath and faced Jihoon. 

“Jihoon, hey, listen to me” Daniel hold on Jihoon’s shoulder to make the younger look at him, tearing his attention away from his phone. Daniel saw Jihoon’s trembling hands hold onto his phone harder that necessary, his eyes shakes in fear, and tears threatening to spill.

Daniel wants to hug Jihoon now but they are in public at the moment. It took all Daniel’s conscience not to jump at Jihoon right here, right now. “It’s fine. Everything will be fine. We’ll settle this once we’re back okay?” Daniel paused, “You hear me Jihoon-ah?”

Jihoon looked at Daniel’s eyes before closing his own, listening to Daniel’s voice never fails to calm him down. Then, he nods softly while trying to steady his own heart beat.

<><><><><><><>

Once they arrived at the dorm, all members are already asleep. Daniel and Jihoon climb up to the second floor to have as much as privacy as possible.

“How do you feel?” Daniel asked once they are seated.

“I’m fine now” Jihoon answered, but when he saw Daniel’s unsure gazed at him, he adds, “Really. I was taken aback just now but now I’m cool. You are here with me anyway” he whispered

Daniel smiles at that, “Okay” he thinks for a moment, “You know what I’m thinking? This is our chance to heal you. Remember what Seonghan hyung said? You have to face the root of your problem.”

Jihoon was still unsure. He really wants to leave his past behind. But Daniel wants him to face this, and he didn’t want to oppose Daniel. “So, what should I do?”

Daniel asked for Jihoon’s phone and Jihoon gave it to him wordlessly. Daniel opened the message bar and reply Jaehyun’s message.

 

To: 010-XXXXXXXXXXX  
Yes, this is Jihoon

 

It took less than a minute before Jaehyun replies

 

From: 010-XXXXXXXXXXX  
Oh my god Jihoonie  
How long has it been? It’s really hard to search for your numbers, y’know  
You can’t imagine how much effort I put until I got your number, but it’s definitely worth it

 

Jihoon didn’t say anything and just let Daniel do all the replying. He trusts Daniel and at the moment he didn’t trust himself that he is able to deal with Jaehyun.

 

To: 010-XXXXXXXXXXX  
Quit yapping  
What do you want?

 

From: 010-XXXXXXXXXXX  
Who are you?  
You are not Jihoon. 

 

To: 010-XXXXXXXXXXX  
Who am I shouldn’t concern you  
Just answer the question

 

From: 010-XXXXXXXXXXX  
Isn’t this supposed to be Jihoon’s number?  
Where’s Jihoon?

 

To: 010-XXXXXXXXXXX  
Jihoon refused to reply to your message  
He reads everything you wrote  
So, just answer the question, WHAT DO YOU WANT?

 

From: 010-XXXXXXXXXXX  
Fine  
Jihoonie, I’m sorry for what happened before  
I can explain, let’s meet up  
I missed you, babe

 

Babe? Daniel and Jihoon widened their eyes. How dare he say all those things after what he did to Jihoon. “What do you want to answer him Jihoonie?” Daniel tries to sound calm and unaffected

“I..I don’t know” come Jihoon’s reply

Daniel takes that as confirmation from Jihoon to reply to his message

 

To: 010-XXXXXXXXXXX  
Where? When?

 

From: 010-XXXXXXXXXXX  
Did he really agree to meet up?

 

To: 010-XXXXXXXXXXX  
I told you just answer my question

 

From: 010-XXXXXXXXXXX  
He can decide, I’m fine with anything

 

From: 010-XXXXXXXXXXX  
Okay, XYZ Café, 2nd floor, private room, 10pm tomorrow  
I’ll do the booking, just come  
You better keep this a secret

 

From: 010-XXXXXXXXXXX  
Noted  
See you Jihoonie, I love you <3

 

Daniel feels like slamming on his phone but he held it in. instead, he reply

 

To: 010-XXXXXXXXXXX  
P.S. I’ll be there with Jihoon too

 

And Daniel turned his phone off. He looked at Jihoon’s flustered face. “Should we really meet him this soon? I don’t think I’m ready yet”

Daniel only smiles at that, “It’s fine. I’ll be there remember? The sooner the better”

Jihoon didn’t know what else to say. He could only trust Daniel and that’s exactly what he does.

Daniel pulls him down and to his room to call it a day

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Before that, I forgot to mention that I don't know who is Jaehyun or Seonghan is.   
> I made it up and has no reference at all  
> So, if you know someone with the same name, it's a pure coincidence >,<
> 
> See you on the next chapter ~~~


	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Before he knows it, Daniel has gone from his sight.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's another updates
> 
> I'm sorry but I really forget that Jihoon and Woojin had unfinished problem here   
> Please forgive me  
> Here's Jihoon and Woojin's development~~~
> 
> Enjoy~

Time passes by and the appointment time is getting nearer. Jihoon is not ready, he never will. He keeps on fidgeting all day long. Luckily, they didn’t have any schedules other than practicing for their year-end performance. 

Daniel noticed Jihoon’s turmoil, everyone does, even the choreographer. Jihoon messed up on the routines so many times that the choreographer calls for break time.

“Are you ok?” Woojin approached him

Daniel who was about to approach Jihoon cancel his plan and walk towards Jaehwan instead, planning to tease him.

This was the first time since forever that Woojin finally initiate a conversation between them. “I’m fine”

Woojin looked nervous sitting beside him, “Um, you know-“ he seems unsure, “I’m sorry”

Jihoon smiles, “Forgiven” he said

Woojin looked up at Jihoon, “Really? Can we go back to how we used to be? Best friend of course” he quickly adds

“Why ?” Jihoon asked, “Did anything happen to us?”

Woojin is confused now, “You know, about-“ he was cut off by Jihoon

“Nothing happened” Jihoon said quickly, “We just had minor fights between best friend, that was bound to happen you know”

Woojin smiles, “Okay, if you say so”

Jihoon is glad that finally he has his best friend back. “So, tell me what’s been bothering you” Woojin suddenly said

That’s so Woojin, not beating around the bush and go straight to the point.

Jihoon sighs, he was just about to forget about his nervousness before Woojin reminds him again, “It’s a long story”

“I have all the time” Woojin is not backing out

Jihoon knows he won’t win against Woojin, not that he wants to keep this a secret from Woojin, “The thing is..”

Woojin is speechless, “Wow, we didn’t talk for how long is it? Whatever. And there’s so much happened already?” Woojin said disbelieved; “now it makes sense why you are being so out of your mind today. But I think Niel hyung is making a right decision.”

“Yeah, I know” Jihoon said, smiling to himself, “I’m really grateful that hyung is there for me.”

Woojin sees Jihoon’s smile. It was really genuine smile that he failed to bring out of Jihoon no matter how hard he tried. But just a simple talk about Daniel easily brings those smiles out of him. I lost, he thought. How much ego did I have for thinking I can be compared to Niel hyung, Woojin thought sadly.

Woojin pats on Jihoon’s shoulder, “You’ll be fine”

“I’ll be fine” Jihoon repeats and the choreography called, indicating break time is over. Talking to Woojin really helps. Jihoon can get better concentration in learning their new routines and less nervous for tonight’s talks.

<><><><><><><>

It’s time, Jihoon thought. He is ready to go out, at least physically. Mentally, he is far from ready. Jihoon is sitting on Daniel’s bed, waiting for Daniel to get ready.

“Ready?” Daniel said

No, Jihoon wanted to say. “Yes” He said instead

Daniel chuckled softly, “Come on. I told you everything will be fine” he hold Jihoon’s hand, half dragged him up and engulf him into a hug. “You’ll be fine” he said in a softer voice

Jihoon didn’t say anything, trying to calm himself down using Daniel’s warmth. It did the trick. 

“Let’s go” Daniel said, releasing his hug, earning a whine from Jihoon.

<><><><><><><>

Jaehyun wasn’t there yet when Daniel and Jihoon arrived. Well, they arrived half hour earlier than the promised time. But they don’t have to wait for so long as approximately 10 minutes later, the door opens showing a man walking in.

Jihoon freeze, the man he has been longing is standing in front of him. The man he used to love with everything he had, the man he is willing to give anything and everything to, the man who owned his heart. Jihoon suddenly feels his breath is getting shallower. Daniel sees that and put 1 hand on his lap, trying to calm Jihoon down while judging Jaehyun out. So this is Jihoon’s ex, Jaehyun, he thought

When Jaehyun enters the room, his eyes immediately meet with Jihoon’s. But before he could say anything, Jihoon avert his gaze and look at his lap instead. Jaehyun then shifts his attention to the guy sitting beside Jihoon. Jaehyun had his suspicion that the one who replied to his message will be one of the members but he thought it will be either Woojin, Guanlin, or Jisung, he is the leader after all. He really didn’t expect Kang Daniel, the so-famous Center will be here. So, he was quite taken aback.

“Hi, I’m Jaehyun” he offers a handshake to Daniel only to be replied by hardening gazed. Wow, he’s so different from what portrayed on TV, Jaehyun thought then proceed to sit on the chair across Jihoon.

Jihoon still didn’t dare to look up. His heart beat frantically like it was about to jump out of his ribcage and he feels like he is going to break down and cry if not for Daniel’s hands which is now holding into Jihoon’s.

Silence filled the room. No one dares to start the conversation.

After a good 15 minutes, “So” Daniel starts, “Care to explain?”

“I’d prefer to talk privately” Jaehyun answers, not showing any sign of inferiority to Daniel.

“This is a private room” Daniel said as a matter of fact

“I said privately as in no stranger around” Jaehyun smiles, “You are just another band mate of Jihoon. How long have you guys known each other? Not even 1 year yet”

“We don’t need a long time to get to know about each other. And for your information, I’m no stranger. If anything, you are the stranger here” Daniel retorts

Jaehyun smirks, “Well Mr-know-it-all, I am his boyfriend. And you? Just a contracted band mate that will last only for another year”

Daniel lost his cool there. He stood up, grabbed Jaehyun’s collar, and was about to punch him but he was held back by Jihoon. “Stop” Jihoon said weakly

Jaehyun smiles winningly, “That’s right babe, this band mate of yours are so rude. All those fangirls are blinded by his acting on camera.”

“Don’t call me that” Jihoon said, trying to sound intimidating but failed miserably. It sounds like pleading instead, “You are not my boyfriend. Not anymore. And Daniel is not rude, he helped me when I was at my lowest, he accepts me for who I am, he is everything you are not. He is not JUST my band mate. He is my boyfriend” Jihoon said while looking on the ground, hands still clutching tightly on Daniel’s shirt.

Daniel smiled at Jihoon’s bravery. He knows Jihoon is on the verge of breaking down. He pats Jihoon’s head several times before shifting his attention to the man in front of him who was still in dazed. “You better start your explanation before I lose my temper. Pay attention to your words, one mistake and it will be the end for you” Daniel said with no hint of joke. Jihoon never sees this side of Daniel before. It kinda scares him a little. This Daniel really sounds intimidating.

<><><><><><><>

Long story short, Jaehyun’s lame excuse includes him indecisive with his life choice since he was still very young that time. After he left Jihoon that day, he never is able to sleep properly as he is drowning with guilt. Jihoon has never been out of his mind and heart. He wanted to contact Jihoon back but he was scared that Jihoon didn’t want to have anything else with him. Then suddenly days become months and months become years and Jihoon debuted. He feels like Jihoon is getting further from his reach and that now Jihoon is a really popular idol, he thinks of backing out, it’s not like he can contact Jihoon as Jihoon changed his number. Suddenly, there’s a rumour circulating Jihoon’s sasaeng fans that they got a hold of Jihoon’s phone number. He got through a lot to finally get Jihoon’s number and thought this was fate trying to join them up again and try his luck. So, here he is.

After hearing Jaehyun’s explanation, first thing come to Daniel’s mind is Jihoon should change his phone number again. Second, what a lame excuse he had there. Daniel expected him to come up with more realistic and dramatic excuses, not this amateur, stupid excuse. And last, this will be the end for them. Jihoon won’t believe in him and finally Jihoon can move on.

What Jihoon said next shocked both Daniel and Jaehyun. “I understand. I forgive you”

“WHAT?!” Daniel said in disbelieve

Jaehyun only widened his eyes and how calm and composed Jihoon suddenly is. Moreover, Jihoon believed in him and even forgiving him.

“I said I understand and I forgive you” Jihoon repeats, still look emotionless.

Daniel wants to say something, but before he uttered a word, Jihoon cut him, “Hyung, can you leave for a moment? I want to talk alone with him, just the two of us”

Daniel immediately opposed the idea. What’s wrong with Jihoon? Why suddenly he acts all brave and unaffected. Moreover, he asked Daniel to leave them alone means there’s a talk that Daniel shouldn’t know and he didn’t like the idea one bit, “No. I’ll stay here”

“Hyung, please. It’s important” Jihoon plead

“No, and that’s final” Daniel still being stubborn. 

“It will be a quick talk and we can head home immediately after that. You can wait for me in the car, I’ll be there soon” Jihoon negotiates

Daniel still stays on his place, not budging one bit. “Is it really important that I can’t even know about this?” Daniel couldn’t hide the disappointment and betrayal in his tone. He couldn’t help but think that Jihoon is using him all this time.

Jihoon only nods slowly

“Fine if this is what you want. I thought we promised not to have secret between us. I thought I’m important to you as much as you are to me. I thought our feelings are mutual. I misjudge you” Daniel said, “I’ll wait you in the car, take as much time as you want” Daniel walks to the door and didn’t forget to slam the door harder than necessary.

Upon hearing that, Jihoon’s body grows cold. Daniel misunderstood his intention. He was about to stop Daniel when he said that but out of all times, his reflect decided to be slow today. Before he knows it, Daniel has gone from his sight.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Only a few chapters left?  
> I need to wrap this up >,<
> 
>  
> 
> Anyway, tell me what you think and see you~~~ <3


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry if my story is not up to your expectation
> 
> I'm trying to get it to climax but instead of the usual climax scene, I have some other thing in mind  
> But it's so hard to picture them out in form of words  
> So pardon me that it comes out different from what I expected it to be
> 
> This story almost reach its end, bear with me a little and I'll be done >,<
> 
> I'll try harder to improve, thanks for the input <3

Jihoon snapped out of his thoughts. He was about to chase after Daniel but a hand on his wrist stop his on track. 

“Let go of me” Jihoon growls

Jaehyun was taken aback by Jihoon’s harsh tone. Didn’t Jihoon forgive him already? “What do you want to talk about?”

Jihoon sighs, he’ll deal with Jaehyun first, once and for all, “Alright” Jihoon starts to organize his thoughts. 

He is left alone with the root of his problem now. His heart beat crazily. As expected, it’s impossible without Daniel but he needs to be strong. He shouldn’t keep relying on Daniel, he needs to get over with this. He clenched his fist hard to gain more strength and not to break down right there and then. He closed his eyes for a moment and imagines Daniel is actually there with him at the moment, “I told you I’ve forgiven you, that are not entirely a lie, but that’s not the truth either. I forgive you just for 1 reason, I want to forget my past and move forward with Daniel hyung and my new family, Wanna One. Without proper ending with you, I won’t be able to move on and that was the reason I agree to meet you tonight. So, don’t get the wrong idea, don’t think that I still want to have anything with you because I don’t.” Jihoon paused for a moment

“The reason I want to talk to you alone is because I don’t want Daniel hyung to get more worry than he already is. Even now, I think I still have some sort of feelings left for you, I don’t know whether it’s love or not but it has been weighing on me since then. Daniel shouldn’t know about this, he might misunderstand. The only way to put a proper closure is to admit this feeling for you. My time stopped since the day you left me and by admitting out loud in front of you will finally move my time, not by forgiving you.” Jihoon paused again.

He took a deep breath, “But don’t get the wrong idea, it doesn’t mean that I still want to be with you. Although I have lingering feeling for you, I have zero intention to be with you. I want to be with Daniel hyung now, not you, not anyone else. So, excuse me.” Jihoon ends, without any more words he walked out of the room, leaving a dumbfounded Jaehyun.

After saying what has been weighing his mind all these years, Jihoon feels as if a great amount of weight had been lift off his chest. He feels really at ease. He didn’t know how Jaehyun feels about this, he didn’t want to know, and he didn’t care. All he cares right now is to go back to Daniel’s embrace and start anew. Jihoon feels like a new person now.

<><><><><><><>

Not far from the café, a car was park and Jihoon immediately opened the door and get inside. Jihoon expected Daniel to be there like when they came here. But Daniel sits on the passenger seat beside the manager.

“You are done Jihoon?” the manager asked him. Jihoon nods then the manager start the engine and they head back to the dorm. 

“Niel Hyung” Jihoon called over but was met with silence, “Hyung, you know it’s not like wh-“

Daniel cuts him, “I’m tired Jihoon, let’s talk later” and close his eyes, shutting out the world, leaving Jihoon with no choice but complies.

It’s past midnight when they reach the dorm. “Thanks hyung and sorry for bothering you with our personal needs” Daniel said once they reach the dorm. 

“Nah, it’s fine. You guys not in the best condition will be worst. I’m glad you ask for my help instead of doing things your own. That’s the use of manager right?” the manager hyung said, smiling. Unlike his previous artist, taking care of Wanna One is really enjoyable. They are kind, polite, down to earth despite the tremendous popularity, and fun to be with. So, a small favour like this really didn’t bother him to one bit.

“Okay, then. See you tomorrow?” Daniel said

“Sure” the manager replies, “Rest well, you too Jihoon-ah. You must be tired” and left them

<><><><><><><>

After the manager left, Daniel immediately walks in, not waiting for Jihoon. Jihoon hurriedly follow Daniel. After both of them finished wash up and about to sleep, Jihoon is unsure whether he should follow Daniel to his room as usual or not. Ever since they reach the dorm, Daniel hasn’t talk to him a single word yet.

However, Jihoon didn’t need to worry for too long. Right before Daniel goes into his room, he asked, “What are you doing there? Come here” Although still feeling hesitant, Jihoon quietly follow Daniel to his room. 

They both lie on Daniel’s bed with Jihoon’s head resting on Daniel’s chest. “Hyung, just now-“ Jihoon tried to bring up the topic

“Let’s just sleep now, it’s late. You don’t want to wake Seongwoo and Jisung hyung up don’t you” Daniel whispered then kisses Jihoon’s forehead softly before hug him to sleep.

At least he is not angry at me, Jihoon thought. He can explain everything tomorrow. For now Jihoon is too comfortable in Daniel’s embrace. Soon after, Jihoon followed Daniel into dream land.

<><><><><><><>

Jihoon is woken up by a loud voice resonating in the dorm. He stirred and blinks for a few times. Daniel is not there beside him but he feels weirdly fine. He didn’t have the urge to search for Daniel. Did meeting and settle things up with Jaehyun is all he needs? Jihoon couldn’t care less about the detail. As long as he is fine now, he is happy. He stretched a little before getting up to join the members for breakfast before leaving for another busy day.

Jihoon walks pass by the living room seeing Daniel is head-locking(?) Jaehwan. They are having so much fun, Jihoon though, feeling slightly jealous. Daniel looks up and meet Jihoon’s questioning eyes and smile immediately. He released Jaehwan, followed by a string of curse directed to Daniel but Daniel ignores him.

Daniel walks towards him, “Hey, you’re awake. How do you feel?” giving him a peck on his forehead.

“I’m fine. I think I’m getting better already” Jihoon answered

Daniel’s smile widened, “Great! It’s working then”

Jihoon nods a little, “Hyung, about yesterday-“ Jihoon tried to raise the topic again. He wants to let it pass but Daniel’s I misjudge you keep haunting his mind. He wondered why Daniel didn’t ask him anything about that

Upon knowing where this conversation is going, Daniel immediately change the topic, “I think I’m going to help Minhyun hyung preparing breakfast, you better get ready.” Daniel quickly says, “Yah, Jaehwan, you come here and help too” and off to the kitchen

“Why should I?” Jaehwan protest but got up and go to the kitchen nevertheless.

Something is wrong, Jihoon thought. 

<><><><><><><>

All Wanna One members gathered in the dining room to have breakfast. How long has it been since they last have breakfast together? They didn’t know. Daniel sits across Jihoon, engrossed in his own food, occasionally putting some side dish on Jihoon’s plate saying Eat this, this is good or You should eat more Jihoonie, you look thinner, earning protests from the members because of how sweet Daniel is to Jihoon.

However Jihoon couldn’t fully enjoy Daniel’s attention. He keeps on staring at Daniel as if staring at him would give him the answer. Daniel seemed unbothered by Jihoon’s blatant stare and continues his food-digging.

After breakfast, they are ushered to attend schedules after schedules. Daniel never fails to check on Jihoon’s condition every now and then. He always tends to Jihoon just to ask for his well being or to hand him drink. However, every time Jihoon tries to bring up that topic, Daniel will dismiss the idea and always have the best excuse to dodge the topic.

If before Jihoon feels something was off of Daniel, now Jihoon is sure something was off. Something was wrong and Jihoon knows perfectly what was wrong. But still, it’s useless when the said person refuse to talk it out. Suddenly Daniel feels so close yet so far and Jihoon didn’t like it one bit. He is determined to talk it out with Daniel.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have 4 chapters left  
>  and I still haven't thought of how to properly end this
> 
> I'm suck, I know
> 
> But I hope I can at least write a decent ending


	17. Chapter 17

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Are you going to let your boyfriend hear you say I still have feelings for my ex-boyfriend in front of him? Didn’t that will cause more problems?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Updated~~~  
> How long has it been?  
> I'm sorry, I just don't have the motivation to write --"
> 
> But I'll try to finish this story  
> I won't let this hung up <3
> 
> Enjoy :)

Easier said than done right? That’s what Jihoon is experiencing now. A week has passed and Jihoon had yet to make any progression in confronting Daniel. 

Jihoon sighs again from the nth time today, “Wha-?!” he was walking along the corridor of their dance practice building, going back from toilet break when suddenly he was pulled into an empty room by-

“Sst!!! Don’t scream or we’ll be found out!” Woojin closed his mouth and whispered harshly against him.

Seeing the culprit, Jihoon relaxed, It was just Woojin, he thought. He pries Woojin’s hand away from him, “What is it?” He eyed Woojin sternly

Woojin stepped back a little and crossed his arms; “I thought we are best friend” was the only reply he gets.

“Yes, you are” Jihoon said, raising his eyebrows questioningly.

Woojin smiles, “Spill it out”

“I don’t get it” Jihoon said and was about to leave the room, “Practice is going to start again, we should be back. I don’t have time for your nonsense” 

Jihoon starts opening the door but suddenly Woojin kick it back close hard that it turns into a slam. “What was that for?” Jihoon yelped, eyes wide

“You didn’t answer my question” Woojin said nonchalant

Jihoon flails his arms in surrender, “Fine, I’ll tell you” earning a satisfied smile from Woojin, “But not now, the rest are waiting for us. Later, at dorm”

Woojin eyed Jihoon suspiciously before giving up, “Okay, but you better keep your promise”

“You got my word” Jihoon smile. And they both head back to practice room.

<><><><><><><>

Practice finished earlier than scheduled. All Wanna One members are thrilled with the additional extra time to either rest or do whatever they want to.

“Hey, let’s eat dinner together” Jaehwan initiates. They are on their way back to the dorm.

“Sure, why not” come Daniel’s reply, followed by the members’ acknowledgement. Everyone but the pink sausage agreed.

Daniel looked at Jihoon who is seated beside him, “Jihoon? What do you say?”

“I..I think” he said while glancing at Woojin in front of him who sends him a death glare, don’t you dare. “I’m tired, I preferred staying in the dorm” he sighs

Daniel pats Jihoon’s head, “Then, I will also-“ Jihoon lights up at what Daniel was about to say but was hit back to reality when Woojin interrupts, “I’ll stay at dorm with Jihoon, you can go Niel hyung” he decides, leaving no room for argument

Daniel wasn’t in the mood to argue so he give up immediately, “Okay, what you guys want to have? We’ll bring home some food” then followed by Jihoon’s anything is fine and Woojin’s never ending orders, earning a you should just come and order yourself from Jaehwan

They dropped Jihoon and Woojin at the dorm first because it’s on the way before heading to Jaehwan’s recommended restaurant.

<><><><><><><>

“So-“ Woojin said, leaning against the wall while sitting on his bed across Jihoon’s. jihoon mirrored his action on his own bed. “You got all the time now”

Jihoon knows Woojin is one you can share everything and anything to without worrying he’ll spill the secret. But it’s still weird for Jihoon to share something like this. However, it’s not like he had other choice. Woojin wouldn’t leave him alone without getting his answer. “You know we are meeting Jaehyun hyung last week, don’t you?” Jihoon starts

Woojin nods wordlessly, prompting him to continue, “That’s the problem, we meet him, then-“ Jihoon tells him everything happens last week, including what Daniel said to him before storming out the room, misunderstood the whole situation.

“So, it’s about Daniel hyung?” was the first thing Woojin blurted out after listening to the whole story, “I should have known” he laughed to himself

Jihoon blushed at Woojin’s revelation. He realized how affected he is with everything related to Daniel, he couldn’t help it.

Woojin saw Jihoon’s expression and decided to tease him later, “But” he said, getting in serious mode again, “Are you sure Niel hyung is angry? As far as I see, since last week, he never stops babying you. If anything, he did that too much that I thought I’m going to vomit from all the sweetness” earning a glare from Jihoon, Woojin puts his hands up in surrender, “My point is, you might misunderstand the situation and think too much about the condition”

“You don’t understand” Jihoon said frustrated, “Every time I was about to bring out the topic, he’ll avoid it in the oh-so-sweet way. That already mean something was wrong.” he paused, “Also who in the right mind won’t get angry or suspicious when your boyfriend was asking you to leave him and his ex-boyfriend alone talking on something he is not allowed to know. Oh my God, I can’t imagine how I feel if I’m in Niel hyung’s situation. I’ll be thinking he is cheating on me” Jihoon gasped 

Woojin throws his pillow and land squares on Jihoon’s face, earning a grunt from the other, “You should hear yourself talking now” Woojin rolled his eyes, “Then you shouldn’t chase him away in the first place”

Jihoon throws the pillow back to Woojin, “Yah, put yourself in my position” he then said a little bit louder, “Are you going to let your boyfriend hear you say I still have feelings for my ex-boyfriend in front of him? Didn’t that will cause more problems?”

Before Woojin can retort, they heard a soft creak coming from outside their room. They froze. Someone is in the dorm. But who? Aren’t they supposed to have dinner together? It’s just has been 30 minutes. Both Woojin and Jihoon bolted up and run to the door to check on the condition. They check the other 2 rooms, kitchen, laundry room, and second floor to find no one. “May be we are being overly sensitive?” Woojin asked

Jihoon nods slowly, hopefully that really is the case.

<><><><><><><>

“I told you to check on everything before leaving” come Minhyun’s nags. The restaurant is about 30- 45 minutes ride from their dorm and half way, Jaehwan realized that he left the discount coupon on the table in the dorm, so they are left with no choice but to go back to the dorm to retrieve the coupons. They can’t let the discount coupon go to waste right?

Jaehwan only grunts in response, “I know, I know. You’ve been repeating that for a whole 10 minutes already”

Actually, the members are perfectly fine with this, including Minhyun. But Minhyun just feels like nagging on Jaehwan this moment, so he did it. The rest are enjoying the show, Jaehwan is being nagged at. Daniel enjoys more that necessary. He keeps on giggling at the side while teasing Jaehwan non-stop. “Stop giggling you laughing maniac” Jaehwan growls

However that didn’t scare Daniel one bit, he only laugh louder at Jaehwan’s pathetic state, encouraging the other members to laugh with him and Jaehwan only can sigh in defeat. I’ll get my revenge, he thought.

Upon reaching the dorms, Jaehwan storms out of the van to the dorm in full speed. He opened the door and immediately retrieved the coupon on the table where he left them earlier this morning while keep cursing on Daniel and how he will have his revenge and was about to leave immediately but suddenly he heard, “Are you going to let your boyfriend hear you say I still have feelings for my ex-boyfriend in front of him? Didn’t that will cause more problems?” from their shared room, and he knows perfectly whose voice was that.

He widened his eyes, all thoughts of revenge fly out of his system, replaced by I’ve heard what I shouldn’t have. He gained his composure and left the dorm as quietly as possible.

He slowly entered the van and sit on his original seat, beside Daniel. “Do you have it with you already?” Jisung asked.

Jaehwan nods. And the van started moving again.

Daniel was about to tease Jaehwan again if not for unusually quiet Jaehwan sitting beside him. “Hey, what’s wrong?” he said instead

“Nothing” Jaehwan shortly answered

“I’m sorry if I’m being too much just now. I don’t think you’ll get hurt by that” Daniel concludes. He shook Jaehwan’s shoulder a little since he didn’t get any response. “Hey. Look at me”

Jaehwan looked up. Daniel didn’t see any trace of anger nor hurt from Jaehwan. What he sees is sympathy and sadness? Why did Jaehwan sympathized him? “No, I’m not angry Niel-ah, just a little bit tired."

The ride to the restaurant is quiet, safe for soft chit-chat of the members

Should I tell Daniel? Jaehwan keeps thinking to himself

In the restaurant, Jaehwan also didn’t talk much nor eat much. It’s contradicting to what he said that this was his favourite restaurant and the foods are really up to his taste. The food and environment, as well as the service and price are incredible just like Jaehwan said but Jaehwan’s mood is what worried the members. But they decide to respect Jaehwan’s decision to not telling them.

<><><><><><><>

They soon arrive at the dorm, ready to call it a day. Daniel and Jaehwan are the last to get off the van as they both seated at the last row of the van. Daniel stood up first and was about to go but Jaehwan stop him

“Niel-ah” Jaehwan calls out, halting Daniel’s movement and turn to look at him with concern expression. “Can you accompany me walk to the park for a moment?”

Without much thinking, “Sure, let’s go”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please anticipate updates as I'm trying to finish this story before my busy days come  
> *sigh*
> 
> Tell me what you think ;)  
> See you~~~


	18. Chapter 18

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jihoon feels so much better after having someone to talk to. He looked up to see Daniel’s expression, preparing for the worst but all he got is a pair of soft eyes looking back at him. “It’s not your fault” was all he said. But it was all Jihoon wanted to hear. That it wasn’t his fault that he gained recognition through his winks, that he was selected in avengers team, that his team is winning, and for everything.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Updated!!  
> I really want to finish this fic soon  
> I'm glad that I have the confidence to end it rather than put it on hold
> 
> Enjoy~

They walked for some time before Daniel starts to talk, breaking the silence, “So, what’s been bothering you?”

“Did something happen when Jihoon and you went to meet his ex?” Jaehwan answered with another question

Daniel freeze for a moment before sigh exasperatedly, “Nothing” He blurts out, “Everything is fine”

“Did Jihoon chase you out to talk privately with his ex?” Jaehwan did not back out

“Who told you that?” Daniel asked, surprised

“Just answer the question” Jaehwan’s voice is still calm and composes

Daniel looked down, “Yes he did. It’s nothing important.”

“What do you mean?” Jaehwan lost his composure, “Isn’t he your boyfriend? What is so important that he wouldn’t let you hear his conversation with his ex?”

“Jaehwan, I told you I’m fine” Daniel sighs, “He is my boyfriend doesn’t mean he had the obligation to tell everything to me. He can have his own privacy too”

“Privacy?” Jaehwan scoffed, “Is saying I still have feelings for my ex-boyfriend a privacy that he supposed to keep from his current boyfriend? I couldn’t find the logic here. You tell me” 

Daniel stays silent for a moment, “I don’t mind” he finally said, “I don’t know where you heard that but if it’s the truth, then I don’t mind to the slightest. As long as he is my boyfriend, I’m contended with that”

“You must be crazy already” Jaehwan shook his head, “In the beginning I supported you and Jihoon, but now I’m not sure anymore. You’ve sacrificed too much already Niel-ah. I think it’s about time you stopped and make him realized that you are a human too. You shouldn’t let him treat you like this”

“He treats me just fine” Daniel counters, “Jihoon loves me and I love him. That’s all that matters. I’m not forced; I did all that on my own will. Don’t try to do anything to him I warn you”

Jaehwan is lost for words, “I’m not trying to do something with your relationship. I’m saying this because I am worried. I know how much you love him but you are my best friend. If you don’t want to find out about the truth, I’ll do it instead.” He paused, “After I found out about the truth and if it confirms my suspicions, I won’t hesitate to confront Jihoon whether you like it or not”

Daniel stopped walking and Jaehwan stops too, looking back at Daniel with unreadable expression. “Can you not do that?” Daniel plead, this is what he is scared of. He didn’t want to know the truth if the truth is going to make Jihoon left him. “I’m fine with how things are. I don’t mind if Jihoon is still have feelings for that guy. As long as Jihoon is here with me I’m fine.”

“What did I say about don’t be his play mate?” Jaehwan squinted his eyes, “You are being one right now, like how Woojin was and you know it won’t end prettily. You deserve better Niel-ah”

“That’s different. Jihoon didn’t love Woojin but he loves me. It’s just he hasn’t fully forgotten that guy yet.” Daniel tried to bring out all reasoning he had, “Slowly, I’m sure slowly Jihoon will forget him and love me fully”

“What makes you think he’ll do that when he couldn’t forget him all these years?” Jaehwan retorts, “Moreover, they are on good term and Jihoon had forgiven him already, you never know where this will proceed” Jaehwan’s eyes soften seeing Daniel’s dejected look, “Look Niel-ah. All these theories haven’t confirmed yet. You need to find the truth to know where you should move on to next, with Jihoon or not. Open your eyes. This is all for the best. At worst, you’ll still have Jisung hyung, Seongwoo hyung, and me on your side no matter what happened”

Daniel nods a little, “I’ll find out. You’ll help me right?” he said, earning a smile from Jaehwan, “But promise me you won’t do anything or say anything to Jihoon” he adds quickly  
Jaehwan smiles, “Anything for you” and move forward and envelop Daniel into a brotherly hug.

Oblivious by the two boys, Jihoon is standing at the road side, witnessing their hugs.

<><><><><><><>

“We are home!!!” the boys announced once they entered the dorm

Jihoon and Woojin stormed out of the room to check what the members have for them. “What took you guys so long? We are starving here” Woojin complains

“If you are starving, you should have joint us instead of lazing around here” Seongwoo retorts, but still handing him their take outs.

Woojin ignored him and starts rummaging to check whether they have his order taken correctly or not and hum in satisfaction that they did well.

Jihoon looked around, “Where’s Niel hyung?” he asked when he sees no sight of his boyfriend

Jinyoung looks behind him, “Huh? I thought he was behind me? Jaehwan hyung is not here either.”

“May be Daniel is still in the van confronting Jaehwan. He looks out of it since earlier right? Just let them be. They know each other better” Minhyun said

Before Minhyun finished his words, Jihoon had already run off to find Daniel and may be Jaehwan? He reached the front door and sighs in relieve when he saw their van was still there. He peeks inside to see their manager is having a phone call with somebody but no sign of Daniel and Jaehwan.

Once the manager hung up the phone, he turns to look at Jihoon, “What’s wrong Jihoon? Did you leave something behind?”

“No” Jihoon shook his head, “Do you perhaps know where Daniel hyung and Jaehwan hyung is?”

“Ah, I heard something like Jaehwan have something to say to Daniel and they walk towards the park” the manager recalls.

Jihoon nods, what did they want to talk about that they couldn’t do it in the dorm, Jihoon thought. “I see, thank you. Have a safe trip back hyung” and run off to the direction the manager gave him

<><><><><><><>

(Jihoon’s flashback while looking for Daniel and Jaehwan)

Jaehwan and Daniel have always been so close since Produce 101 era, with Jaehwan lack in dance skill which is mastered by Daniel and Daniel lack in vocal skill which there’s almost no one could be better mentor than Jaehwan. Moreover, they both have the same first evaluation score, B. Although Daniel was soon moved to A and him to B with Jaehwan, Daniel will always visit their class to invite Jaehwan to join his new circle of friends in A class during break time.

When Jihoon was chosen by Daehwi to be part of Avengers team, he is elated beyond words as he thought Daehwi must only wants A class student. He knows he managed to get in there mostly because of his popularity but he is just happy. His happiness was halted when Minhyun, the second to choose, had chosen Jaehwan and Daniel respectively without a second to spare, like he had been calculating everything in his mind. So again, Daniel and Jaehwan ends up together and their group even gained another name, the real avengers, Justice League. 

That period is really hard on Jihoon. It’s not like Jihoon had taken a liking to Daniel that time. To Jihoon, Daniel was just another competitors in the show that is too relax and nonchalant. He watched the episode and couldn’t help but in awe that Daniel’s team is really solid. Can you imagine? No leader fight, no part distribution fight, and even no center fight, which what produce 101 is all about. When Hyunbin nominated Daniel and Seongwoo as center, Daniel easily gives in to Seongwoo. During the practice, although Mnet edited it to highlight Jonghyun and Hyunbin’s relationship, Jihoon couldn’t help but notice Daniel always at the side helping out members with choreography although himself is not in the good condition. After all that, he even acquires the lowest score from their team. Jihoon couldn’t help but acknowledge them as the real avengers.

But that wasn’t enough to gain Jihoon’s attention. It’s what happened after. After Jihoon’s team won the group battle evaluation, he saw a lot of comments and review from the netizens on how undeserving of them in winning this. Another group is doing better but they won because of popularity. Worst, he gains the highest score and people said he won because of a mere wink.

Jihoon really hits a slump that time. He spent the free time before the first elimination alone in the room, only come out to eat when he really is hungry, and refuses to talk to anybody. 

Until one night, Jihoon was alone in the room, wrap in his blanket, when suddenly a knock echoed in the room. It’s weird, Jihoon thought. His teammates won’t bother to knock to enter the room. Another knock echoed, “Come in” Jihoon said, voice still a little hoarse from crying earlier.

A head peeked in, “Sungwoon hyung?” It’s Daniel. The first thing Jihoon noticed is that, his hair is no longer pink. It’s now kinda dark blond. It looks good on him nevertheless, Jihoon thought

“Ah, he’s not here?” Daniel talked to himself, then his eyes averted to Jihoon who was still bundled up on his bed. “Park Jihoon-ssi, right?” Daniel said, smiling bright, and Jihoon automatically smile back in response. “Did you see Sungwoon hyung? He told me to pick him up for dinner”

Jihoon shook his head in response.

Daniel frowned a little but smiles again, “You seem like a quiet kid” he pointed out, “Why didn’t you hang out with the rest?”

Jihoon didn’t know what to answer so he just keeps quiet.

“Ah, I’m sorry. I did it again. It wasn’t my business” And was about to get out, “Have you eaten your dinner? I think Sungwoon hyung hang up on me and I have to eat my dinner alone. So, I thought maybe I could use some company if you don’t mind?”

When Jihoon still doesn’t response, “Ah, forget it. Sorry” His eyes dropped a little out of disappointment and leave.

Jihoon didn’t know why but he feels wrong although he shouldn’t have. He pries the blanket away, grab his jacket, and chase after Daniel. When he was outside, he looked left and right to spot a certain blond and sigh in relief once he spotted him. He sprinted to where Daniel is and poked his shoulder. The blond turns and smile immediately upon realizing who it is. “I think I might use some company either” Jihoon said

“Sure, let’s go” he grabbed Jihoon’s smaller hands and skips happily like a child to the cafeteria.

<><><><><><><>

The cafeteria was almost empty when they arrived. So, they took their food and start eating. 

“Have you been crying?” Daniel said out of the blue.

Jihoon chokes on his food and Daniel hands him a cup of water, “Sorry, I did it again. Forget it”

They continue eating in silence. Daniel seems not as energetic as before. And again, Jihoon feels responsible to bring the smile back, he didn’t know why. “Yes, I’ve been crying” he said after a long paused

Daniel’s head snapped up, eyes widened at Jihoon’s sudden revelation. Jihoon thought Daniel’s reactions are so pure and honest and that he won’t judge him. Jihoon didn’t know what had gotten to him but he blurted out all his insecurities to a stranger that he had start talking to a few minutes ago.

Jihoon feels so much better after having someone to talk to. He looked up to see Daniel’s expression, preparing for the worst but all he got is a pair of soft eyes looking back at him. “It’s not your fault” was all he said. But it was all Jihoon wanted to hear. That it wasn’t his fault that he gained recognition through his winks, that he was selected in avengers team, that his team is winning, and for everything. 

His eyes began teary and he cried right there in front of his stranger friend. Daniel sits silently and waits for him, occasionally patting his head.

After a while, Jihoon looked up at Daniel again, “what about you? You practiced hard, teach your teammates, and prepared hard for your introduction videos but you are accused for smoking, not getting much screen time and even get the lowest score out of others. Aren’t you upset? Why you can still smile?”

Daniel looked taken aback at how much information Jihoon knows about him. “I’m fine” was all his replied.

Jihoon thinks it might be then that he started to fall hard for Kang Daniel

(End of Flashback)

Although Jihoon wouldn’t admit it, he envies Daniel and Jaehwan’s relationship. They are so close that sometimes Jihoon mistakes them for couple, especially in the early Produce 101 days. Jihoon knows it’s ridiculous and Daniel will laugh if he told him about that idea. But who knows?

Jihoon saw 2 silhouettes from afar. He moves closer to get a better look and how he wished he didn’t. What happened next is one of them, the shorter one move forward and hug too close and too long for Jihoon’s comfort. Jihoon can perfectly distinguish who they are

Some part in Jihoon’s mind said that it was just another brotherly hug but another part is arguing on why should they sneak out just to hug? Jihoon couldn’t think rationally and he turns on his heels and run away from there.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 2 chapters left  
> The end is approaching  
> It was a nice journey
> 
> See you~


	19. Chapter 19

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Let’s break up Jihoon-ah” Daniel said, turning his head a little to look at Jihoon.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Updated  
> They started to resolve the problem  
> Ending is coming ~~~
> 
> Happy Reading <3

“We’re back” Daniel and Jaehwan announce once they open the door.

Minhyun peeked from the kitchen, “Welcome back, feeling better Jaehwan-ie?”

“Huh?” Jaehwan response, confused. “What’s with me?”

Daniel chuckled, “Yes, he is perfectly fine now hyung” and drag Jaehwan away. Once they reached Jaehwan’s shared room, Daniel realized Jihoon was nowhere in sight. 

“Woojin-ah, where’s Jihoon?” Daniel asked

Woojin looked up from his phone, “Isn’t he supposed to be with you? He is searching for you just now”

Daniel is confused; “I didn’t see him” he looked at Jaehwan, "Right?"

Jaehwan flopped on his bed, “You should go search for your lovely boyfriend Niel-ah” he teased

“Oh shut up” Daniel said, but didn’t against the idea. “I’m leaving” He immediately grabbed his coat and runs out of the dorm to find his boyfriend.

Jaehwan only wave him good bye.

<><><><><><><>

Daniel retraces the path to the park he and Jaehwan went to just now but didn’t see any sign of Jihoon. He thinks hard on the possible place Jihoon might go at this time. He remembers once Jihoon told him that he likes to sit at the river side near the area whenever he has so much to think because that place is secluded and almost no one was there. Jihoon might be there, Daniel thought.

He runs as hard as he could. After another 10 minutes running, he saw the river in sight. He stops running and walks instead, trying to catch his breathing. Soon, he spotted somebody, he is sure it’s Jihoon, sitting by the river. 

He walks slowly while taking off his coat, leaving him with a sweater he was wearing inside and placed his coat on the younger's smaller frame before sitting beside him, “Hey”

Jihoon startled, feeling warmth oozing from Daniel’s coat. He inhales the sweet scent of Daniel and holds the coat tighter to him. “Hey” he said monotonously.

Daniel feels a change in mood that moment. “I heard you were searching for me and Jaehwan?” Daniel tries to start a conversation

“I did” was all Jihoon answered

“We are at the park nearby” Daniel said again, try to keep the conversation alive.

“I know” Jihoon’s reply was unexpected

“You know?” Daniel asked, surprised

Jihoon nods.

“Then why don’t you approach us?” Daniel is getting more confuse

Jihoon looked down, “I don’t want to disturb you guys” he whispered

Daniel almost didn’t get that. “What do you mean? You are not disturbing anyone. Why are you here alone anyway?”

“I need to calm myself down” Jihoon said, ignoring Daniel’s first question

“Do you perhaps” Daniel trailed his words, “listened to our conversation?” he asked carefully

Jihoon shook his head denying, and Daniel sigh a relief, but it didn’t go unnoticed by Jihoon. So, something is really going on between them, Jihoon thought. “Hyung, you know you can tell me anything you know. I’m going to be fine”

<><><><><><><>

Now Daniel is getting frustrated. He didn’t understand a single thing Jihoon is blabbering since just now. “What do you mean?”

“Like if you want to break up with me and be with someone else?” Jihoon said unsure, eyes still not meeting Daniel’s

Daniel is furious now, he turned to look at Jihoon, “Jihoon, look at me” but was ignored by Jihoon, “I said look at me!” Daniel growled, his voice filled with authority. Jihoon never heard Daniel this angry, he slowly turns his head, facing Daniel but looking at his lap, not daring to look up.

Daniel hold on Jihoon’s shoulder and bend down a little to match Jihoon’s eye level. “Hey” his voice turns soft again and Jihoon finally dares to look at Daniel’s warm eyes. “What makes you say that? You know how much I love you didn’t you?”

Jihoon stays silent.

“Did something happen?” Daniel asked. “Did I do something wrong that you are doubting me now? I’m sorry if that’s the case. Just so you know, I don’t have any intention to do anything that might hurt you.” Then realization hits him, “Ah, does it have something to do with what I said last week with your ex?” He asked carefully

Jihoon freeze at the memory. And of course Daniel feels it.

“So, that’s the problem” Daniel mumbled to himself but loud enough for both of them to hear. 

Daniel released his hold on Jihoon’s shoulder and lean back, staring up the sky, “That day, I thought that since we are boyfriends, we should share everything and anything. As boyfriends, we need to have mutual understanding and no secret. That was my definition of serious relationship.” He looked down at Jihoon again, “But I was wrong” He said. “I shouldn’t force my way with you. I should have considered your feelings and your view in this relationship.” Seeing no response from Jihoon, Daniel continues again, “You must want your privacy and I’m sorry for intruding. I won’t force myself in where you wouldn’t want me to, I promise. So, please forgive me? I didn’t mean any harsh words I said” he stops and waits for Jihoon’s reaction

Jihoon snaps up and look at Daniel wide-eyed. Why is Daniel apologizing?

“Also, I’m sorry that I avoid and ignore you whenever you try to bring up the topic. I don’t know what to say.” Daniel said, looking straight to JIhoon’s eyes. “I think I set my pride too high. But that doesn’t matter anymore because I love you more than my pride. I was jealous as f*ck Jihoon-ah. I was jealous of that guy who has been occupying your mind for years and I can’t do anything to replace him in your heart even after he hurts you so bad.” There, he said it. “I thought I won’t mind that you still have feelings for him as long as you are beside me but Jaehwan opens my eyes.”

Jihoon is getting confused but his body grow cold, his mind is a mess, and his heart beats crazily. He feels nauseous, not liking where this conversation is going. I should stop him this instance, his mind commands, but his body couldn’t react. He only stares at Daniel with trembling heart, trembling hands, and trembling eyes.

“It’s my fault for forcing my way in your heart when you are not ready. So, it’s not your fault. You are not using me. If anything, I’m using your weak heart for my greed” Daniel shifts to face and look at the dark river in front of him. “I don’t know whether I’m ready for this or not. I don’t know whether I can win this game or not but I need to try.” He sighs

“Let’s break up Jihoon-ah” Daniel said, turning his head a little to look at Jihoon. 

All alarms are ringing inside his head. He is sweating despite the cold weather. His body feels numb. He couldn’t think, he couldn’t feel, he couldn’t even cry. He froze on the spot.

However, Daniel didn’t notice that. He is too focused on what he wants to deliver. “Let’s start from the begi-“, suddenly Daniel’s body was tackled down by a considerable amount of force. When Daniel realized it, he had lied flat on the grass and Jihoon straddled him. But that wasn’t the problem. Jihoon is crying. Heavy tears stream down his face.

“NO!!!” Jihoon screams. “Don’t do that to me! Please” he hits Daniel’s chest over and over, not caring that he practically put his entire weight on the older, “I know I said that you can tell me if you want to break up with me and go with someone else. But it doesn't mean that you can really do THAT! You said you love me. Proof it! You promise to be with me forever. You said you’ll show me that you are different from HIM. Don’t go back on your words, damn it. Keep your promise!” Jihoon sobs, buried his face on Daniel’s chest, “Please” he begged, hands clutching tightly on Daniel’s sweater and cried hard on his sweater.

It took a while for Daniel to snap out of his shock. He mustered some strength to sit up with Jihoon still on top of him, refusing to let go. “Jihoon-ah, you misunderst-“, Daniel said while trying to pry Jihoon away to look at him

“NO!!” Jihoon’s hands clutched tighter that his knuckles go all white. “Don’t leave me”

Daniel sighs. He never likes seeing Jihoon cried. It hurts him more than anything, more than his own jealousy. He’d rather seeing Jihoon with somebody else, even Jaehyun, as long as Jihoon is smiling earnestly. He circled his hands on Jihoon’s smaller frame, head resting on top of Jihoon’s, and stroking Jihoon’s back slowly, trying to calm him down.

They stay like that for a good 10 minutes before Jihoon’s sobs subside but the hold on Daniel’s sweater still very tight, even Daniel can feel it. 

“You don’t want me to leave right?” Daniel asked softly and Jihoon nods.

“Then will you be a good boy and listen to what I say first before jumping into conclusion?” he asked again

Jihoon hesitates for a moment before nodding again.

<><><><><><><>

“What I want to say is that we have to break up-“ Daniel feels Jihoon tensed in his hold, so he stroke his back again, “first and start anew” he continues

“I still love you and always will but we’ve taken the wrong route. We should start slow and step by step, starting from knowing and understand each other, develop a crush, and confession. You need to think with your heart who you really want and left any underling feelings left and I should be there when you are ready, not when you are not emotionally stable.” Daniel said

This time Jihoon look up and look at Daniel, “You won’t be leaving me and go with Jaehwan hyung right?” he asked

Daniel was taken aback at the question. Why Jaehwan? He thought, not in a million year he’ll see Jaehwan as someone more than best friend. But as best friend, no one else is better than Jaehwan. But instead, he assured, “Don’t worry, no matter what, nobody can replace you in my heart. In fact, you have been holding my heart all along and you’ve been doing well in taking care of them” and smile at Jihoon

Jihoon blushed. He didn’t remember when did he ever take care of Daniel’s feelings but if Daniel say so, he believed it. After all, Daniel had never lied to him before. “So, hyung and Jaehwan hyung are just friends?” he makes sure

“Best friend” Daniel corrects him

Jihoon nods, “Not more than that?”

Daniel cooed at Jihoon’s adorableness inside. He feels like squeezing this little fluff ball right there and then but now is not the time so he hold himself, “Not now, not ever”

Jihoon nods again and buried his face back in Daniel’s chest, not wanting to move, “Hyung” he said, gaining Daniel’s attention again, “can we just continue without breaking up?”

“I want to” Daniel said, “But didn't you realize that all the problems that we faced revolving only because of petty misunderstanding? We misunderstood each other over and over. I see you barely trust me, Jihoon-ah. And that wasn’t something can be built in an instant. This similar problem might happen again, of course I don’t mind as we can solve it. But if we keep this up, in the long run, something worst might happened and we wouldn't be able to fix it up again and say goodbye for good. Do you want that?”

Jihoon sighs but shook his head nevertheless, he knows Daniel is right. “How long?”

Daniel shrugs, “I don’t know”, he honestly doesn’t know, “Let it flow naturally. I’m sure when the time comes; we will be much more ready”

They stay silent for a few more minutes before Jihoon snapped up, surprising Daniel, “Hyung, aren’t you cold?” Jihoon is wearing 2 layers of clothes and sweater with his own jacket and Daniel’s coat while Daniel is only wearing a sweater and nothing else.

“Now that you mention it, it’s kinda chill here” he jokes “But having you hugging me all the time makes it up” and wink at Jihoon

Jihoon blushed and was about to hand over Daniel’s coat back but Daniel suddenly stands up and Jihoon lose balance, almost falling down. Before it happens, Daniel hold on Jihoon, steadying him in place and hold the coat firmly on Jihoon’s body, “Forget it, let’s go back. The members must be worried” Daniel said while taking Jihoon’s hand in his cold one and walk home, ignoring Jihoon’s protest on how Daniel should be wearing the coat instead.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Final chapter will be up sooner than you expected  
> I'm currently writing it on
> 
> See you~~~


	20. Chapter 20

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yup, this is perfect, Jihoon thought.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Final chapter is up >,<  
> I can't believe I am really able to finish this up
> 
> Enjoy this final chapter from my amateur work~~~

After that night, they announced to the members that they had broken up, earning mixed reaction from them. They ensured the members they are perfectly fine and they are working for the better so the members respected their decision.

Jaehwan suddenly dragged Daniel to one of the room and locked it behind, earning a questioning look from the members and a frown from Jihoon. Jaehwan squeezed all information out of Daniel before he nodded in satisfaction and come out of the room to be greeted by late night snacks ordered by the members.

Daniel sat beside Jihoon and answered Jihoon’s questioning look with a shrug and teasing smile. Jihoon didn’t pestered further. If he wanted to be Daniel’s boyfriend faster, he needs to work on his trust and shouldn’t doubt Daniel. Daniel had ensured him that Jaehwan and Daniel are best friends just like Woojin and him. He will be pissed too if Daniel kept on pestering and doubting him about Woojin and his relationship.

Every day went smoothly. Daniel didn’t change. He is still his usual caring and bubbly self. Wanna One’s popularity also keep increasing each past days, attending year-end awards, performing on international stage, until receiving honorable awards, all because of Wannables. They feel so grateful.

In a blink of eye, 2017 had passed and they welcomed 2018 with new hope. 2017 marked as the most memorable year to every each Wanna One members and they wished 2018 can be just or more eventful, spending days and nights with happiness and hopefully no regrets so that they will have beautiful memories to look at in the future.

<><><><><><><>

Jihoon was sitting alone at the river side, in the exact same position as last year. Jihoon came here today not because he is feeling down or anything. He just feels like wanting to reminiscent what had happened throughout 2017, from a mere trainee that only dream of debuting until becoming one of the top idol in several months. He can’t be thankful enough. Moreover, he found his love one on the way. What more he could ask for.

Daniel and Jihoon’s relationship are going well as well. They flirt around, joke around, and play together, until share their problems with each other. Jihoon started to get what Daniel said by building up trust. 

He is glad that he agreed to that break up thing Daniel suggested. Don’t get him wrong, he still has strong desire to be Daniel’s boyfriend back. It’s just he is able to see things differently now and be more open-minded. 

Jaehyun never bothers him anymore and he can’t be more thankful than that. Despite not being in a relationship, Daniel always treats him differently from other members like checking out on his condition, letting him to eat first, and even opening the door for him. The members keep teasing them and ask them to make it official already but they just ignore it.

Jihoon didn’t know what Daniel was thinking and he didn’t dare to ask. Woojin even pushed him to confess first and he almost did that, almost. To say that Jihoon is fine with how things are is a lie. Sure, he is happy now but being with Daniel everyday without making anything official is starting to eat him all up. He missed kissing Daniel, that’s for sure. Without being in relationship of course they are not kissing anymore and Jihoon missed (craved) that the most. Moreover, Daniel is getting more and more popular and a lot of fans and even non-fans, as well as staffs and celebrities, both men and women are drooling over Daniel.

Although he tries to hide it, but the insecurities are still there. What if one day Daniel thinks someone else is better? What if Daniel loses interest in him? And so on. He quickly dismiss the idea but once in a while it came back

Regarding his panic attack? It never happened anymore. They did the last check up last December and Daniel’s friend say that he is fine already and they didn’t have to come back anymore unless there’s a symptom it might relapse.

<><><><><><><>

Jihoon didn’t know how much time had passed but suddenly he felt cold. He shivered a little, thinking I should have worn thicker jacket and I should just go back. He looked at his wrist, the cuts are almost all healed now. The cuts really have bitter memories and he really wants to get rid of them soon. With proper and routine treatment, it won’t leave a scar and he is really thankful with that. He is so lost in his own thoughts when suddenly a big jacket draped over his shoulder and a too familiar scent and warmth radiates throughout his body. He sighs in content, dejavu.

“It’s getting much better, luckily it won’t leave a scar” Daniel said, referring to the cuts on his wrist. “What are you doing?”

Jihoon takes a hold on the jacket and wrap it around his body, while hiding his wrist, seeking for more warmth. He didn’t like the cuts, he didn’t want Daniel to see more ugly things about him “Nothing, just thinking about this and that” he answered vaguely, “What about the trip?”

Daniel and Jaehwan are supposed to have a trip to visit Jaehwan’s parents in his hometown. Jaehwan’s parents are big fans of Daniel and since they know that their only son is a best friend of Daniel, they kept on nagging him to invite Daniel home. And since they have free time and Jaehwan needs to retrieve something from his house, why not Daniel accompanied him and greets Jaehwan’s parents on this New Year. “Nothing special. They are kind and fun though, just like Jaehwan”

Jihoon only hums in reply.

“Aw, are you jealous?” Daniel teased, pinching Jihoon’s cheek

Jihoon slaps his hands away and huffs in annoyance, “Am Not!”

“Of course you are not” Daniel said, decided to stop teasing Jihoon as he has more important things to say. “You shouldn’t be jealous of Jaehwan”

Jihoon felt Daniel’s answer is weird so he turned his attention to look at Daniel. He saw Daniel sitting cross-legged beside him and looking all nervous. Moreover, he had one of his hands behind him and it doesn’t need to be smart to know that Daniel is keeping something there.

“What is that?” Jihoon asked and moved to get a better look of what Daniel has for him, “Did you buy me some souvenirs?” Jihoon asked excitedly

Daniel moved his body to block Jihoon’s view. But Jihoon is faster; he had stood up and walks around to see what Daniel has. Jihoon’s eyes widened. 

There Daniel has a bouquet of flowers. Jihoon didn’t know what flowers it was but it sure looked pretty. Jihoon looked in awe for a while before looking up, meeting Daniel’s surrender looks. “I messed up, didn’t I?” Jihoon asked, unsure.

Daniel stood up, not bothering to hide it anymore. “No big deals” he said, “I think I should have done this sooner but I couldn’t find the right moment to say and I thought this will be a perfect moment. I want this to be perfect”

Jihoon stood silently, heart beating like crazy in anticipation. Daniel is going to confess to him, he screamed internally.

“Jihoon” Daniel said, standing in front of him now, “We started our relationship wrongly, no, I don’t mean that, I mean not that proper. No, that’s not it. Shit, sor-“ Daniel’s rambles were cut off short when Jihoon reach out and tip-toed while hands circling Daniel’s nape, pulling him down a little and left a short kiss on his lips, shutting him up.

They break from the kiss and Jihoon chuckled while Daniel is still star struck by the change of event. This is not how he pictures it. Jihoon is supposed to fell touched by his speech and surprise and then Daniel will coolly hug Jihoon and kiss him sweetly.

“Yes” Jihoon said, snapping Daniel out of his trance.

Daniel blinks once, twice, “What?”

“I said yes, I would like to be your boyfriend again” Jihoon confirms

“But I haven’t even asked yet.” Daniel whined like a child

Jihoon takes the flower from Daniel’s hands and move to slip his hands on Daniel’s waist, hugging him. “It doesn’t matter. I know what you want to say. That was sweet”

Daniel sighs but return the hug anyway, “This wasn’t how it’s supposed to be you know”

“Then you better do a better job in memorizing your speech and prepare the surprise” Jihoon retorts.

Daniel ponders a little, “Should I repeat the confession tomorrow?” he asked dumbly

Jihoon chuckled, “But I wouldn’t have it any other way” and look up, meeting Daniel’s loving gaze

Daniel leans down, whispering I love you, and captured Jihoon’s lips in his to have another long sweet and gentle kiss.

Yup, this is perfect, Jihoon thought.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, this is where we say goodbye  
> I'll write a new one with better improvement once I have a plot in mind 
> 
> When the time come, please show some support and love just like what you guys did here  
> I really appreciate it, really <3
> 
> Keep supporting Wanna One, especially NielWink ~~~  
> Thank you so much :*  
> Buh-bye~~~

**Author's Note:**

> How is it?
> 
> Tell me by leaving comments  
> Mild criticisms are welcome  
> But don't be too harsh  
> Comments really motivate me to write <3
> 
> I'll try my best to update regularly, please support me ^_^
> 
> Enjoy NielWink shippers >,<


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